After a parent dies, keep essential legal/financial documents (Will, Death Certificate, property deeds, accounts), meaningful personal items (photos, letters, journals, a favorite worn shirt for comfort), valuable assets (jewelry, investments), and important records (medical, military), but don't feel pressured to keep everything; take photos of items you can't keep, use intuition for sentimental items, and consider donating usable goods.
I focused on only keeping the items that felt personal, meaningful, and irreplaceable, like photos, journals, and letters. Remember, you can always take a photo of something if you don't have the room or the inclination to keep it.
In many cultures, the number 40 carries profound symbolic meaning. It represents a period of transition, purification, and spiritual transformation. The 40-day period is often seen as a time for the departed's soul to complete its journey to the afterlife, seeking forgiveness, redemption, and peace.
To do immediately after someone dies
To do this, call 911 soon after your loved one passes and have them transported to an emergency room, where they can be declared dead and moved to a funeral home. If your family member died at home under hospice care, a hospice nurse can declare them dead.
You finally accept the flaws they had and miss those too.
While they might have gotten on your nerves back then you'd do anything now to experience those things all over again. You might not have liked the way they did some things, but they weren't as bad as you had in the past made them out to be.
There's no single "worst" age; losing a parent is devastating at any stage, but often cited as uniquely challenging during adolescence/teenage years (identity formation, dependency) and young adulthood (missing guidance during major life milestones like marriage/children), while loss in early childhood deeply impacts fundamental security and development. Grief evolves, but the absence creates unique pain as life stages change, with many experiencing loss in their 40s-60s, often while transitioning to becoming the elder generation.
The "3 Cs of Grief" offer a simple framework for navigating loss: Choose, Connect, and Communicate, focusing on taking small, active steps to manage emotions and find support rather than following rigid stages. This approach empowers you to Choose what helps (like activities or rest), Connect with supportive people, and Communicate your needs and feelings to trusted individuals to foster healing.
See our 10 tips for things you shouldn't do after they've died:
No, a beneficiary generally cannot directly withdraw money from a deceased person's sole bank account immediately after death; the bank freezes the account, and access requires the appointed executor or administrator (often the beneficiary if named in the will) to provide legal documents like a death certificate and Letters of Administration/Probate, with funds used for estate expenses before distribution. Exceptions exist for joint accounts or accounts with designated payable-on-death (POD) beneficiaries, but for standard accounts, the estate process must be followed.
Legal Issues
The hardest deaths to grieve often involve a child, a spouse/life partner, or a loss due to suicide or homicide, as these challenge fundamental beliefs about life's order, shatter primary support systems, or add layers of trauma, guilt, and unanswered questions, leading to potentially complicated grief. However, grief is deeply personal, and the "hardest" loss is ultimately the one that feels most significant to the individual.
- *Hinduism*: Some Hindu texts suggest the spirit may linger near the body for up to 13 days after death. Scientific Perspective From a scientific standpoint, there's no empirical evidence to support the idea that the spirit or consciousness remains in the body after death.
Take Your Time
It's okay to leave their clothes in the closet for weeks, even months, if you're not emotionally ready. Give yourself permission to grieve first. When the time comes, consider asking a trusted family member or friend to help. Having someone there can make the task feel a little less heavy.
A personalized memory box or keepsake makes an ideal place to stash away sentimental items and family heirlooms. Engraving this gift with the deceased parent's name or heartwarming quotes makes it an attractive, secure, and heartwarming holding place for preserving their parent's memories.
When grieving, don't suppress emotions, isolate yourself, rush the process, or use substances to numb pain; instead, allow yourself to feel, stay connected with supportive people, and seek professional help if needed, as grief has no timeline and everyone experiences it uniquely. Avoid platitudes like "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place," and don't make major decisions too soon. Focus on self-care, even if it's basic, and accept that grief is messy, not linear.
What to Do When a Parent Dies: Checklist for Immediate Steps
Telling the bank too soon can lead to various issues, particularly if the estate has not yet been probated. Here are a few potential pitfalls: Account Freezes: Once banks are notified, they often freeze accounts to prevent unauthorized access.
Bank accounts with named beneficiaries transfer directly to those people with just a death certificate and ID. Joint accounts with survivorship rights automatically belong to the surviving owner. Accounts without beneficiaries or joint owners go through probate court, which can take months.
The next of kin must notify their banks of the death when an account holder dies. This is usually done by delivering a certified copy of the death certificate to the bank, along with the deceased's name and Social Security number, bank account numbers, and other information.
What to do When a Loved One Dies
Children or grandchildren of the person who died should wait at least 49 days after the funeral to cut their nails or hair. This comes from the idea that the dead parent gave the children their nails and hair, so they should not be cut during the mourning period or after the burial.
The 3 C's of grief are Control, Connection, and Continuity - three fundamental psychological needs that become disrupted after loss and require intentional attention during the grieving process.
FAQs about the 5 stages of grief
Depression is usually the longest stage of grief so therefore then can be perceived as the hardest. In order to come out of this stage we actually need to allow ourselves to feel our deepest sadness, only after that can we then begin to move through the final stages.
Not only can crying help in the healing process of grief, but those who can't cry when they lose someone they love often are much more vulnerable to depression and other health problems, she says. “When people hold back their tears, it does seem to lead to mental and physical problems,” she says.
The following tips may give you some ideas about what to do in your "grief time":