They are punitive with money. Narcissists often use money as a tool for punishment. They may reward you financially when you do what they want, and then withhold money when they feel vindictive. This can feel unsafe, degrading and confusing.
Financial distress is a common occurrence among some narcissists. Numerous factors can contribute to these problems. In the first place, narcissists believe that they are above the law. As a result, their unethical behavior may sometimes include lying, stealing, or embezzling money while justifying it fully.
Controlling access to funds: The narcissist may control the access to joint bank accounts, credit cards, or other financial resources, leaving their partner without access to the money they need to live.
And narcissists know this all too well. Even a little bit of money gives a narcissist a sense of power and domination over others. It starts off small with the little things like removing your name from the accounts and then grows into stealing, threats, and extortion.
Narcissists believe that they deserve the best, regardless of cost. Hence, they may recklessly purchase status items and indulge in expensive experiences to make them feel like VIPs. Narcissists may donate generously to a cause or to helping others out in order to reflect well on themselves.
They're stingy with money
In other words, if a narcissist spends money on you, it's because they want something from you. Whether it's complimenting them, offering friendship, providing a loan, or giving them a place to crash.
In romantic relationships and family settings a narcissist will control others with money through employment sabotage, economic exploitation, and controlling the finances and in the workplace they will create power imbalances to keep people trapped.
Hiding assets.
They go to great pains to hide marital assets, sometimes setting up secret accounts, “lending” money to friends, or stashing cash in safe-deposit boxes. Because they're so grandiose, they don't believe they'll ever get caught.
Yes, most narcissists are relatively stingy and protective over their money. They don't willingly hand over what they have. However, this greed extends beyond self-preservation. Because narcissists lack empathy for others, they don't necessarily understand the benefits of sharing their resources.
Because money and material wealth are highly important to narcissists, they often become a focal point of their relationships—sometimes resulting in financial abuse.
“Some kinds of narcissists will come across as extremely needy. If there is always a huge problem or drama, everyone has to focus on them—pitying them, running to their rescue, and helping them clean up their messes,” says Ho.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
Embezzling Cash
Narcissists may take out cash advances on credit card accounts or other lines of credit. They may spend it shortly thereafter, or sock it away into a secret bank account, or maybe stash it in a secret hiding spot somewhere in your home.
At the center of a narcissist's destructive behavior towards others is an excessive sense of entitlement. Narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths believe that the world owes them something.
Grandiose sense of self-importance
Grandiosity is the defining characteristic of narcissism. More than just arrogance or vanity, grandiosity is an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or “special” and can only be understood by other special people.
On the other extreme, persons with vulnerable narcissism may present with salient features of dysthymia, depression, and anhedonia. However, the grandiosity and need for admiration would be prominent despite the affective symptoms, which would differentiate it from a major depressive disorder.
They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Readily revealing themselves while in the midst of familiar, grandiose states of mind, narcissists tend to hide what they consider shameful signs of weakness, deficiency, or failure.
Narcissists use sex and the pretence of emotion to control others. They like to be in control, and often derive pleasure from giving or withdrawing sex or affection to this end. 10. Narcissists are not really capable of feeling guilty, and feel no shame about lying if they think that it will get them what they want.
Being secretive and private, allows the narcissist to remain 3 steps ahead of others, and catch them out by surprise when the narcissist does decide its time to make their move. Being secretive and private, allows the narcissist to plan the next “big adventure”, without anyone suspecting a thing.