You could ignore him, say something that publicly embarrasses him, or act indifferent. Just be aware, that attempting to punish him can backfire and make him want to retaliate. Then things could get even uglier and more emotional.
You need not justify your feelings or explain your thoughts. The more you do, the more you are at risk of them gaslighting you to induce self-doubt. Defending yourself to narcissists is generally a waste of time.
What happens when you tell a narcissist what they are?
So when they encounter a piece of information about narcissism they immediately might feel exposed, ashamed, betrayed, or attacked. Moreover, they often take things very personally and think that everything is about them. So they might feel that the author is talking about them personally or calling them out.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.
The real reason why simply confronting a narcissist and calling them out for their behavior won't work is simple: they're not actually listening to you. If they truly are a narcissist, they have never been listening, and are especially unlikely to take any criticism or feedback on board.
What can you expect when you do confront a narcissist? Generally, they will resort to narcissistic rage (explosive or passive-aggressive) or denial. He or she may become enraged, deny everything, call you a liar, twist reality, blame you and then play the victim.
How do you make a narcissist realize they are a narcissist?
Four ways to talk to a narcissist about narcissistic behavior.
Ask Clarifying Questions. A good way to diplomatically call someone's attention to his or her narcissistic behavior is to ask clarifying questions. ...
Use Humor and Wit. ...
Separate the Behavior from the Person. ...
Ask Directly Whether the Individual Is a Narcissist.
Narcissists can feel emotional pain, but not usually in the same way as others. The emotional pain they may feel is usually related to underlying selfish needs. Underneath the displays of superiority and sense of entitlement, they often feel empty, powerless, and shameful, which they perceive as weakness.
Act indifferent toward them. A narcissist wants to be treated like they're better than everyone else. You can make them super upset by treating them like everyone else. Don't praise them excessively, don't react to their comments, and stick to neutral statements when you're talking to them.
Narcissists don't know they're hurting you. It doesn't even enter their minds. And, if you try to tell them how you feel, they get defensive and make you feel you're wrong again. In fact, they'll even rather “innocently” tell you: “I'm only trying to help you.”
They see themselves as better than everyone else, and they also believe other people are lucky to be in their presence. To the narcissist, exposure feels unexpected, malicious, and downright wrong. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't move forward if that's what you need to do.
