People with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) are often drawn to those who seem emotionally available, strong, and idealized, like a "knight in shining armor," as well as empathetic caregivers, but also paradoxically to emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners, creating intense, often dysfunctional cycles, attracting "caretakers," "codependents," or individuals with their own trauma, due to BPD's intense emotional needs, fear of abandonment, and identity confusion, as notes Quora and this Quora thread.
Favorite person in the borderline personality disorder community. FP has a unique meaning in the BPD community. A FP is a person who someone with BPD relies heavily on for emotional support, seeks attention and validation from, and looks up to or idealizes.
In BPD, hypersexuality can be seen as a maladaptive coping mechanism used to manage intense emotional distress or feelings of emptiness, often associated with the disorder. The temporary relief or pleasure derived from sexual activity can provide a fleeting escape from these uncomfortable feelings.
Due to the marked similarities between BPD symptomatology and fearful/disorganized attachment (Beeney et al., 2017), it is hypothesized that the combination of anxious and avoidant dimensions will correspond most powerfully with BPD.
Individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) often experience intense emotions and have difficulty managing them, which can translate into various aspects of their lives, including romantic relationships. In some cases, this emotional intensity can manifest as obsessive crushes.
Signs You're Someone's Favorite Person
Fear of abandonment: A core feature of BPD is a fear of abandonment, which can result in obsessive thoughts about a person's relationships, friendships, or romantic partners. Impulsivity: Impulsive behaviors are common in BPD, and these actions may sometimes take the form of obsessive-compulsive behaviors or rituals.
Sexual, physical or emotional abuse or neglect. Losing a parent.
BPD limerence is when borderline personality traits (BPD) meet with obsessive romantic attachment. It creates an emotionally intense experience where fear of abandonment meets desperate longing.
A Swedish national study reported that 95.7% of individuals with a BPD diagnosis had a comorbid psychiatric diagnosis [8]. Mood disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), impulsive disorders, and bipolar disorders are commonly associated with BPD symptoms and diagnosis [9–11].
Don't…
The "3 C's of BPD" typically refer to advice for loved ones of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, reminding them: "I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, I can't control it," to help set boundaries and avoid taking on undue responsibility for the person's actions or illness. Another set of "C's" describes core BPD traits for individuals: Clinginess (fear of abandonment), Conflict (intense relationships/moods), and Confusion (unstable self-image).
This usually begins with idealization or the “honeymoon phase,” where the BPD partner has you on a pedestal and believes you will never do anything wrong. This period can last a few days or go on for months. However, it will typically and inevitably be followed by devaluation, or loss of respect and admiration.
But there are lots of positive things you can do to support them:
Their fear of abandonment and low self esteem may manifest into them convincing themselves that you no longer want to be with them – whether there is any actual evidence for this or not. To try and tackle the “divide” in the relationship, the borderline sufferer might begin to withdraw or pick fights.
Passionate and emotional – When a person with BPD loves, the love is deep, highly committed and loyal to the relationship. Even though there may be struggles with attachment and fears of abandonment, these are ultimately manifestations of love.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
Limerence Symptoms
The key signs of limerence are: Persistent intrusive thoughts about the LO, such as constantly wondering what they're up to or thinking about making contact with them. These thoughts can be so intrusive that it's difficult to concentrate on other activities.
Some common types of delusions that may occur in individuals with BPD include: Persecutory delusions: Believing that one is being mistreated, harassed, or conspired against by others.
Conclusions: Parental externalizing psychopathology and father's BPD traits contribute genetic risk for offspring BPD traits, but mothers' BPD traits and parents' poor parenting constitute environmental risks for the development of these offspring traits.
Signs of childhood trauma
How can I help myself in the longer term?
BPD patients showed hypervigilance for both negative and positive cues, but were specifically biased towards schema-related negative cues. Predictors were BPD schemas, childhood sexual traumas, and BPD anxiety symptoms.
People with BPD often have a "favorite person" to provide support and comfort during emotional upheaval. Being a favorite person means setting healthy boundaries to maintain a balanced relationship. It is important to communicate clear boundaries and challenge any violations to avoid an unhealthy dynamic.
Signs of having an FP
They may also feel very happy when receiving the FP's attention but feel anxious when they are not. Other potential signs of a BPD-FP relationship could include: frequently seeking the person's approval or guidance. feeling abandoned if the individual is unavailable or unresponsive.