Betrayal's root is betray, which comes from the Middle English word bitrayen — meaning "mislead, deceive." Betrayal has to do with destroying someone's trust, possibly by lying.
The first is excessive ambition, greed, lust or passion. When a person cannot control is overcome with these vices, he's liable to betray. A drug addict will betray the trust placed on him because his addiction is overpowering. It is greater than any sense of loyalty, integrity or honesty he may have.
Betrayal hurts because it reminds us how vulnerable we truly are. None of us like or want to feel vulnerable if we believe we can be hurt. People shun love, avoid relationships, and act inauthentically in order to avoid feeling the pain of what we see as inevitable betrayal.
Betrayal in personal relationships refers to the violation of your trust by someone close to you. The betrayal could be your partner's infidelity or it could be your best friend's dropping you for a new friend. You might also feel betrayed if your significant other didn't defend you in an argument with others.
Unique Symptoms of Betrayal Trauma
Intimate trauma can cause a loss of self-worth, guilt, anger, emotional issues, trust issues, mental health problems, pain, insomnia, and so on.
“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies, it comes from those you trust the most.” - Author unknown.
Betrayal Trauma is unique in that it involves the intense feelings of shame associated with the act of being abused or violated. Therefore if you have experienced betrayal trauma you may suffer from: Shame, guilt and self-blame. Depression.
How we deal with those mistakes is what we can use to show our partners just how much we care about them. So yes, you can love your partner and betray them. Or be loved and feel betrayed.
Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.
Indeed, all forms of betrayal and hurting others have a common fundamental motivation: to gain a momentary feeling of empowerment from the adrenaline rush of violating deeper values, like respecting the boundaries and caring about the emotional well-being of loved ones.
Most people who have betrayed someone they love feel plagued by feelings of guilt, sadness, shame, or remorse.
Betrayal is the sense of being harmed by the intentional actions or omissions of a trusted person. The most common forms of betrayal are harmful disclosures of confidential information, disloyalty, infidelity, dishonesty. They can be traumatic and cause considerable distress.
In truth, betrayal is one of our worst fears. Betrayals can occur within families, in the workplace, among friends, and in the most sacred space of marriage. All betrayals are difficult to come to terms with, yet betrayal within the confines of an intimate relationship can feel like the worst violation of all.
Some types of betrayal in romantic relationships include sexual infidelity, conditional commitment, a nonsexual affair, lying, forming a coalition against the partner, absenteeism or coldness, withdrawal of sexual interest, disrespect, unfairness, selfishness, and breaking promises.
Recovering from betrayal trauma is not something that can be done in a day or two. On average, it usually takes between eighteen months to three years to absolutely recover, especially with a lot of help and moral support.
That said, after discovering betrayal, leaving can initially feel like the right thing to do. It can seem like a viable way to save your pride and take yourself out of pain and confusion. And for some betrayed partners, leaving is indeed the best course of action.
Talking down your partner is the last thing you should do if you want a healthy and long-lasting relationship. It is worse than cheating because it not only damages your relationship but ruins your partner's self-esteem.
However, both the betrayed and the betrayer can experience infidelity triggers. Shame, guilt, anger, regret, paranoia…all these negative thoughts and emotions may be triggered when recovering from infidelity.
While experiences may vary, people commonly go through several stages after learning of their partner's betrayal, whether it be an emotional affair, hidden pornography use, or a sexual affair. They include shock, denial, obsession, anger, bargaining, mourning, acceptance and recovery.
While the mind can blind us to the pain of betrayal, the body remembers. This may manifest as headaches, stomach aches, chronic fatigue, obesity, gastrointestinal issues, sleep issues, laryngitis, a weakened immune system, etc.