The discard phase in a narcissistic relationship is when the narcissist will break up with, divorce, or end the connection with the person they are in a committed relationship, marriage, or friendship with. The discard will typically be very brutal leaving their victim without any idea as to why they have been dropped.
When a narcissist discards you it often means they feel a lack of control over you. Narcissists are control freaks. A narcissist must have his/her way and will do anything to have it. For a narcissist, all relationships are ultimately about controlling the other person.
Typically, the narcissistic cycle involves over-valuing people whom they refer to as friends (as they are considered potential sources of Supply), using them, devaluing them (when the friends no longer are a good source of Supply), and then inexplicably discarding them.
The narcissist might suddenly seem cool, aloof, and apathetic towards someone who they've already decided to discard. This kind of emotional detachment can make it easier for them to leave the relationship, and sometimes indicates the person's interest and attention are focused on someone new.
There are four distinct phases that these types of relationships typically go through: idealization, devaluation, discard, and hoover. And at times, it may feel like you are on a not-so-merry-go-round going round-and-round through these phases many times over.
Narcissistic friends seek out constant praise, prioritize their own needs, lack empathy, have high expectations of their friends, and often end friendships when they no longer serve them.
In other words, pathological narcissists themselves behave in ways that lead to disharmony on the part of their closest relationship partners who, in turn, react by pulling away as much as possible.
When a narcissist discards you, it can take a toll on your mental health. You may feel upset, used, sad, or rejected. Because narcissists are manipulative and take advantage of others for personal gain, being discarded can also result in financial or professional losses.
The narcissist sees people as objects they use to meet their needs, and to discard when the person no longer serves a purpose for them. A narcissist will discard when the person no longer can boost the narc's ego or be the fuel to replenish their narcissistic supply.
Indifference: The narcissist might act as if nothing happened, pretending not to care or showing little interest in the other person's feelings or well-being. Hoovering: The narcissist may try to pull the discarded person back into their life if they believe they can benefit from the relationship again.
Following a discard, many narcissists will leave you alone for a while. Not only do they want you to feel worthless and undeserving of your time, but they're probably searching for better romantic prospects. The key to getting a narcissist to chase you is to show them what they're missing out on.
It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.
The narcissistic abandonment cycle is as follows: Feels shame. It begins with the narcissist feeling shame. It could be shame about childhood abuse, the socioeconomic state of their family, an embarrassing moment, or being exposed as a failure, incompetent, unintelligent, or a fraud.
Though typical narcissists do not discard people because they crave attention, covert narcissists may go to extreme measures to permanently discard you.
To make the narcissist want you back, remind them of what they're missing by showing them you've got plenty of new supply to give. What is this? The narcissist thrives on external validation. Because of their deep-rooted insecurities, they cannot love themselves, and they seek affirmation from outside sources.
Narcissistic collapse happens when a person with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a failure, humiliation, or other blow to their secretly fragile self-esteem. Depending on the type of narcissist, collapse may look different and happen more frequently.
They ignore you because they want to control you. One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them.
Being discarded by a narcissist can be incredibly confusing. Even though they subjected you to so much abuse and manipulation, you could very well find yourself hoping that they will come back. As a general rule, narcissists will come back after discarding you.
Be aware that they will target your friends who are single, gullible, or agreeable, as well as those who also have narcissistic qualities. They will start bashing you to those friends well before you realize it is happening.
There's been a lot of research in recent years on what narcissism is and who qualifies as one — and although it might manifest differently for different people it turns out that those with the trait may have something in common: According to a new study, narcissists have trouble retaining friendships.
Manipulative narcissists can turn people against you by bringing one or more additional people into an argument, spat, or disagreement that was originally just between you and the narcissist.
Self-centered people are not necessarily narcissistic. They can still be empathic, while narcissists may simply see others as pawns. Many narcissists do not listen to others and jump on opportunities to showcase themselves. Narcissists often feel special, as if rules don't apply to them.