Love bombing, in this sense, refers to parents spending large amounts of time with their children and showering them with undivided attention and unconditional affection. Doing so, these experts suggest, can help children deal with stress or manage behavioral problems such as tantrums or defiance.
To love bomb their child, narcissistic parents will buy their child gifts, give them money, spend more time with them than usual, pay closer attention to their child's hobbies, speak well about their child in front of others, and victimize themselves to give their child an opportunity to “help” them.
Love bombing is a tactic in which a person uses excessive and disproportionate gestures of affection with the goal of manipulation and establishing control over their partner. This can include elaborate gift-giving, over-complimenting, wanting undivided attention, and other manipulative tactics.
Their children are not immune from being at the receiving end of the narcissist's cycle of 'idealise and devalue', where they are alternately lovebombed, (showered with praise and attention), and then subtly devalued, criticised, withdrawn from and put down.
Love Bombing is recommended for children who have been experiencing emotional/ behavioural difficulties, but it can also be used to positive effect with most children – irrespective of any difficulties.
Love bombing is a controlling and manipulative tactic most often used by narcissists and abusive people. They seek to quickly obtain affection and attention before tearing their victims down.
Love bombing, in this sense, refers to parents spending large amounts of time with their children and showering them with undivided attention and unconditional affection. Doing so, these experts suggest, can help children deal with stress or manage behavioral problems such as tantrums or defiance.
“You knew I didn't like it, but you still did it to hurt me.” “You only think about yourself.” “You always look for attention.” “You don't deserve everything that I have done for you.”
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
At the core of a typical love bomber is hidden crippling low self-esteem. Some form of childhood trauma, emotional neglect or emotional abuse from previous partners has caused them to develop no internal sense of worth or self-esteem.
Love bombing is where an abusive partner is bombarding 'love' onto their victim and is part of emotional abuse and coercive control. It could include excessive affection, excessive compliments, declarations of love, gifts and praise.
Love bombing is toxic, manipulative behavior marked by constant contact, non-stop attention, and grand gestures early in a relationship.
Narcissistic parenting creates huge problems for the growing child. Daughters of narcissistic mothers often become enmeshed with their parent, losing contact with their true self and growing up without boundaries and without the ability to recognise or nurture healthy relationships.
A narcissistic mother may feel entitled or self-important, seek admiration from others, believe she is above others, lack empathy, exploit her children, put others down, experience hypersensitivity to criticism, believe she deserves special treatment, and worst of all, maybe naïve to the damage she is causing.
Contrary to the popular assumption, not all love-bombing is calculated or intended to be harmful. The behavior ranges from being something that is relatively innocent albeit naïve, to being emotionally devastating or even life-threatening, such as when carried out by leaders of cults.
Narcissistic parents maintain their power by triangulating, or playing favorites. They may have a golden child who they compliment excessively, for example, while speaking badly about another child in the family. This can make children feel uncomfortable, disloyal and psychologically unsafe.
"People who engage in love-bombing are often doing so unconsciously, though they may be aware of the effect their behavior has on others," Behr says. "Someone who love bombs likely experienced a form of this narcissistic abuse in their own childhood, where a parent idealized and devalued them."
How Long Does Love Bombing Last With A Narcissist? At the start of the relationship, the victim of love bombing is likely to feel like they are under the spell of a highly potent drug. This phase may last for weeks, months, years, or even longer.
Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers
This can lead to eating disorders, low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and a feeling that she will never be “enough.” The constant criticism from a narcissistic father can leave her in a state of constant anxiety as she works to avoid letting him down.
Ask the bomber to respect your boundaries
So you need to make your boundaries clear with a love bomber — I care for you, but we are moving too fast. And do NOT keep repeating your boundaries. A respectful partner will hear you the first time. A love bomber disrespects everyone's timetable except their own.
Love bombing is when you are showered with non-stop gifts, compliments, and attention. This begins a cycle of abuse where the love bomber withholds love and attention to manipulate you. Being showered with love can feel so good! It can be an instant confidence boost to feel so wanted and appreciated by someone.
Love bombing involves spending bursts of one-on-one time with your baby or child, away from other family members. You hand over to them as much control as possible about what you do together while sharing with them expressions of love.