Deflection is an intense focus upon and antagonism toward the legitimacy of the actions, feelings, and beliefs of others, especially the partner, and an intense misdirection of attention away from the primary aggressor's actions. When asked to focus on himself and his actions, he will be seemingly unable to do it.
to attack or blame another person rather than accepting criticism or blame for your own actions: When someone deflects, they are trying to feel less guilty, avoid negative consequences, and put the blame on others. The guilty person deflects their guilt onto the person who is accusing them or onto another person.
Deflecting typically appears in conflictual situations, when a person is confronted with their mistakes. Instead of accepting responsibility and facing the uncomfortable situation head-on, the deflector will try to move the focus from themselves, usually by passing the blame onto someone or something else.
How to respond when someone is deflecting. If you're in a situation where it feels like someone is deflecting, Saltz says you can try to address the situation—but you'll want to use "I" statements, as opposed to "you" statements, as the latter will put them more on the defensive.
Psychological deflection is somewhat similar to blame-shifting and it is a narcissistic abuse tactic that is often used by narcissists but more respectively, Covert narcissists in order to move attention for their bad behaviors away from them, and then redirect it towards other people they may use as their scapegoats.
They turn the story around to make it seem like you are at fault, deflecting attention and blame away from them to make you feel guilty. This type of emotional manipulation is called gaslighting.
Constant deflection can indicate one of many red flags in an abusive relationship. As with other forms of verbal abuse, it can cause short and long-term consequences, as well as low self-esteem, depression, anxiety, chronic stress, and other mental health issues.
If a person's statements don't add up or seem to whip out accusations whenever they are uncomfortable, they may be projecting. Another tell-tale sign is when you talk to someone about their behavior or thoughts, and they immediately re-direct the conversation to you or another person.
People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it's causing them problems. Their tendency is to turn the blame on to others.
It's a way to manipulate you and avoid conflict. For example, if they have behaved badly and you try to call them out, they may something like: “You know I'd never intentionally do anything to hurt you”. Rather than being a sign of guilt or remorse, it's a way of getting them off the hook.
Projection vs Deflection
Deflection is similar to projection, in that it involves putting a negative focus on somebody other than ourselves. But when a person deflects, they are consciously aware of the negative characteristic in themselves, whereas in projection, this awareness is not present (Freud, 1956).
Deflecting narcissists famously use the tactic of gaslighting, making comments or asking questions for the purpose of creating doubt about your truth. They hope to introduce enough confusion that you will drop the confrontation altogether. They may say things like: “You're misquoting me.
“Deflection is another gaslighting technique,” Emma says. “So if a victim starts talking about something that [the perpetrator] has done, they'll deflect and start talking about something the victim has done.
Different types of load can cause deflections. These include point loads, uniformly distributed loads, wind loads, shear loads as well as ground pressure and earthquakes, to name but a few. When a load produces a deflection that is too great, the component may fail.
Deflection is a form of cognitive resistance to stigma—one rejects, rebuffs, or refutes the idea that one has a mental disorder or that one holds the identity of “mental patient” (Thoits 2011).
Indeed, their sense of self-esteem and self-worth depends on how others perceive them, and they tend to deny flaws in themselves and blame others for their own shortcomings, mistakes, and misfortunes. This is called projection, and people with narcissistic tendencies are projection-heavy individuals.
Narcissistic people often resort to projection to protect their self-image. Complaining about how someone else is so “showy” or “always needs attention” is one example of how a narcissist might project. They may also blame others for things that have gone wrong, rather than taking responsibility themselves.
Projection and gaslighting are two major tactics used in emotional abuse. Projection is the act of placing unacceptable feelings or unacceptable wants or desires onto another person. For example, a person who feels inferior constantly accuses others of being stupid or incompetent.
Examples include intimidation, coercion, ridiculing, harassment, treating an adult like a child, isolating an adult from family, friends, or regular activity, use of silence to control behavior, and yelling or swearing which results in mental distress. Signs of emotional abuse.
Stonewalling, one of the Four Horsemen, is Dr. John Gottman's term for one or both partners shutting down when feeling overwhelmed during conflict. Rather than confronting the issue, someone who is stonewalling will be unresponsive, making evasive maneuvers such as tuning out, turning away, or acting busy.
The definition of the word deflection in conversations is a psychological defense in which someone blames you for something they are at fault for. This defense mechanism may look like you bringing up that a person hurt your feelings.