You can self-sabotage by putting yourself in a situation that tempts you away from meeting your intended goal. For example, an individual who struggles with substance misuse and who is in recovery chooses to go to bars to hang out with friends, even though they could spend time elsewhere, explains Dr. Pennington.
Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems in daily life and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors include procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol, comfort eating, and forms of self-injury such as cutting.
It discusses procrastination, self-objectification, impatience, self-neglect, self-criticism, perfectionism, resistance to change, and distrust as nine deadly self-sabotaging behaviors you need to avoid.
We fear failure – we fear that we will give all we have to a goal and still not be enough. It is easier to give yourself reasons as to why you failed than to truly give it your all and still not succeed. This is the most overwhelming reason why we self-sabotage.
Being unavailable or dismissive with suitable, willing, possible romantic involvements. Chasing superficial, low involvement and unfulfilling relationships. Distancing from romantic partners when things get too complicated or too emotionally consuming. Sabotaging or directly damaging functional relationships.
Treatment for Self-Sabotaging
Behavioral dysregulation and emotional dysregulation are often caused by childhood trauma or neglect.
Self-sabotaging behaviors are usually driven by fear, which can give rise to toxic perfectionism or habitual procrastination. This drives anxiety and leads people to think in terms of what-ifs and worst-case scenarios.
While self-sabotaging is definitely an unhealthy behavior, you can rest: it's very common and very normal. Best of all: the behavior can be stopped! Challenge your way of thinking and your behaviors while remembering to be kind to yourself. Instead of being your own worst enemy, why not be your own best friend?
“Signs of self-sabotage include gaslighting, criticism, difficulty maintaining relationships, and jealousy. It's important to recognize how one might be sabotaging the relationship so that the behavior can be stopped before it's too late.
Unconscious self-sabotage.
You do it without being aware of how it undermines you. For example, you withdraw from a relationship as soon as minor problems arise — even though you want a deeper connection with that person.
These self-sabotaging behaviours can become the norm for people who struggle with Mental Health, but they can be more extreme and more damaging. Self-sabotaging has been a part of my life with depression for as long as I can remember.
The opposite of self-sabotage is self-care.
People with PTSD may be more likely to engage in self-injurious behaviors, such as cutting or burning themselves, as a way of managing intense and unpleasant emotions. 2 Before you can stop engaging in self-injurious behavior, it's important to first learn why it might have developed.
If you've noticed that you're doing more harm than good in your love life — like not putting effort into partnerships or getting unreasonably angry with your partner — you might be self-sabotaging. If you're self-sabotaging, it isn't necessarily a sign that your relationship should end.
When people with ADHD are activated, they are often plagued by self-sabotaging, negative internal talk that prevents them from believing they can do things. It can be conscious or unconscious and can keep folks from setting, working towards, and reaching goals. It holds them back from doing what they want to do.
It's not uncommon to self-sabotage to avoid the stress that comes from others' expectations. “Subconsciously, a person may fear rejection or ridicule from friends or loved ones if they don't achieve their goals,” says Pruden. For some, that pressure may lead to thoughts or behavior that result in self-sabotage.
One of the worst side effects of bipolar disorder is the repetitive cycle of self-sabotage. But you can manage this symptom by mapping out your goals.
Self-sabotage can manifest in various ways, such as procrastination, negative self-talk, self-destructive habits and avoiding responsibilities. It is a self-defeating cycle that can prevent individuals from reaching their full potential and achieving their goals.
Self-sabotage is rooted in counterproductive mindsets including negativity, disorganization, indecisiveness, and negative self-talk. Perfectionism and imposter syndrome are also forms of self-sabotage.
The best method for helping someone who is self-sabotaging is to point out that no matter what you say, they always find excuses, or find things wrong. But if they truly want to address these destructive behaviors you'll be there for them by telling them the truth and staying genuine to who you really are.