A narcissist's ultimate goal could also involve preserving their sense of superiority and control over others around them, frequently by using manipulation and scare tactics. A narcissist may employ a variety of strategies to continue to control and dominate their friends, family, and other close people.
Narcissists are self-obsessed and control others for their personal gain; they're notorious for using a few specific tactics for getting and maintaining this control. First, narcissists guarantee success by targeting codependents: They also try to make others feel special using compliments and flattery.
Because narcissists are generally self-centered and self-absorbed, the main motivation to change usually lies in their interest and profit. People with narcissistic personality disorder typically use emotional, physical, sexual, or financial abuse to manipulate their victims and maintain control in a relationship.
The narcissist thrives off of the power and control they feel as they continue to pull the strings of the victim like a master puppeteer. They usually dish out silence or stonewalling right around the time the victim is becoming discerning of their mind games and attempting to call them out on it.
Narcissists all follow the same patterns — here are some of the most common phrases they use to manipulate you. Narcissists often follow the same pattern in relationships: idealize, devalue, discard.
They only want to associate and be associated with other high-status people, places, and things. Narcissists also believe that they're better than everyone else and expect recognition as such—even when they've done nothing to earn it.
Narcissists thrive on getting attention, feeling special, and having control.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core. This leaves narcissists wholly focused on their image. They believe that how they are viewed by others, and how they view themselves, will shield them against realities of life that few of us like but most of us come to accept.
Mental health experts have observed that, sometimes, when a narcissistic person doesn't receive the external validation they believe they deserve, it can result in a high level of stress and hurt. This emotional pain may turn into narcissistic rage.
Narcissists typically settle down in monogamous relationships only if their partner has the ability to keep the narcissistic supply flowing freely. Partners are often viewed as “trophies” and proof of the narcissist's ability to “bag” an attractive or successful partner.
In addition to comparison voices, narcissists may simply have thoughts about needing to be special or wanting extra attention or praise: They're wasting their time on those other people.
It is a misconception that narcissists target weak, vulnerable people because they will be easier to manipulate. They actually go for the exact opposite. They look for people who are confident, successful, attractive and strong-willed.
For a narcissist to be happy, you'll always have to accept their version of events as the truth. Otherwise, you'll be on the receiving end of their narcissistic rage. Even if you do everything they ask, a narcissist will still try and undermine you at every opportunity.
It is of the greatest importance to come across as beautiful, rich, intelligent, well-connected and successful and a narcissist will sacrifice values as financial security, love, honesty to image and appearance.
Thus, both vulnerable and grandiose narcissistic individuals tend to have dysfunctional moral standards which are inconsistent with acceptable moral and ethical ideals (e.g., moral: more related to personal perception of right and wrong; ethic: more related to common and social standards of right and wrong).
Most recent theories have focused on the link between narcissism and negative childhood experiences, such as physical or sexual violence, neglect, or rejection [10,11].
When we look deep into a narcissists life, it's quite depressing. They are victims of their false self and are in a constant battle with themselves to keep that false mask on. They are well aware of their flaws, low self-esteem, fragile egos and inferiority complex.
They are often driven from agitation into an aggressive rage with a simple trigger. Any small play against their ego, perfectionism, or a slight action against their image of self-worth, may be enough to trigger narcissistic rage.
The most effective weapon to fend off a narcissist is self-love. Narcissists do not want to feel like you don't need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
Bottom Line. Narcissists can sometimes be helpful and caring. However, more often than not, they only pretend to have these qualities. Moreover, even when they act giving and helping, they are not motivated by empathy because they severely lack it, and as a result, their help is often not very productive.
It is because of this that they may find it difficult to understand other people's feelings or perspectives, a self-centredness that can cause them to act selfishly and exploit others for their own gain. “As narcissists do not have empathy, they are not able to genuinely care or love you,” explains Davey.
Truth 1: Narcissists fall in love with their fantasy of you.
They fall in love with their projections of whomever they currently idealize as the perfect mate. They can sound convincingly in love, but that is because they temporarily believe in the fantasy version of you created in their mind.
People high in narcissism tend to have a distinct preoccupation with being the center of attention. They are highly skilled at making themselves the star of the show, whether by writing the script themselves or hijacking another person's scene. Grandiosity with expectations of superior treatment from other people.