Monogamy is an intrinsically unstable mating strategy. Benefits include the (relative) certainty of access to the partner's reproductive potential, but the chief disadvantage is that access to other potential partners is strongly diminished, particularly in those cases where males exhibit strong mate-guarding behavior.
A monogamous relationship can be sexual or emotional, but it's usually both. Many modern relationships are monogamous. But even if they want to be with just one partner, some people have trouble staying monogamous. This can lead to infidelity, separation, breakups, and divorce.
It is a very common experience that discriminative behaviour of the husbands and unequal treatment with their wives causes several mental health issues in polygamous families. These are jealousy, poor marital satisfaction, unhealthy competition, lack of trust, and many other mental health problems [12].
1. Our romantic drives are loosely coupled networks. Probably the biggest factor in why it is hard to remain monogamous is that there are several drives built into us that contribute to reproduction, but they do not work in unison.
Unhappiness, loneliness, sense of competition and jealousy, and lack of intimacy with the spouse were identified as disadvantages of polygyny. The perceived advantages of polygyny included sharing of house chores and child rearing.
Partners believe monogamy is the product of jealous or possessive feelings. Non-monogamy involves letting go of these feelings to experience more love. Some people like having variety in their sex and romantic life.
Individuals who favor monogamy may cite certain parts of traditional relationships such as bonding, less jealousy, emotional intimacy, and decreased worries about STDs as reasons to opt for monogamy.
Monogamy in Popular Culture
Being monogamous or otherwise in relationships does not necessarily directly affect mental health by itself. That said, violations of agreements to be monogamous can cause severe anxiety, jealousy, depression, and relationship problems for one or both partners.
By mating with more than one male over the course of her lifetime, a female gains higher genetic variation among her offspring. The benefits of monogamy, which are shared parental care and territorial resources, are maintained by having only one mate at a time, or by concealing extra-pair partnerships.
Rubel and Bogaert suggest that non-monogamists have relationships that are just as happy, or happier, than monogamous relationships. More recent field research on a large Canadian sample also found that those in open or polyamorous relationships were just as happy as those in monogamous relationships.
Most men do so, because of their desire to have a larger number of offspring and most effectively increase their fitness by having many sexual partners. But for women, the reason ranges from having a better gene for their children to social progression and better access to the wealth of the man.
Summary: In cultures that permit men to take multiple wives, the intra-sexual competition that occurs causes greater levels of crime, violence, poverty and gender inequality than in societies that institutionalize and practice monogamous marriage.
Even though poly relationships are not inherently abusive, having multiple partners can create unique situations that abusive people may exploit. As with any relationship, open and honest communication, trust, respect, and equality are what keep these unions healthy.
Reasons a person might choose monogamy:
You like the simplicity of having just one relationship to nurture. You find it easier to focus on just one partner than to try to build connections with multiple people.
Risk of Jealousy and Insecurity
It would be to no one's surprise that there is going to be a chance of insecurity and jealousy getting in the way of a happy open relationship. Instead of seeing this as you or your partner's shortcomings, try to understand that jealousy is an opportunity for another conversation.
Monogamy does exist in nature, as, of course, do females who seek out multiple partners. But nature does seem to push things in the direction of polygyny on our branch of the evolutionary tree. Among mammals, just 9 percent of species are monogamous; among primates, just 29 percent are.
For example, one common idea is that a significant other who demands constant updates, enforces a laundry list of rules, and regularly has jealous outbursts just really loves and values their partner. In reality, this behavior is harmful and unfair and not at all loving.
Ethical non monogamy, or an ENM relationship, means that the relationship is not fully monogamous and may involve having multiple sexual or romantic connections with the understanding and consent of all parties involved.
Recent discoveries have led biologists to talk about the three varieties of monogamy: social monogamy, sexual monogamy, and genetic monogamy. The distinction between these three are important to the modern understanding of monogamy.
Traditional polygamy is morally objectionable, because the spouses will always have unequal marital commitments and unequal control over their familial lives. The ideal of monogamy exhibited similar inequalities historically, but monogamy can be reformed into an equal relationship.