You can expect grandiose narcissists to lash out when wounded. The more insulted they feel, the more rage they're likely to feel. And the more intense their rage, the more viciously they're likely to attack. The problem with them is as insidious as it is tragic.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
Don't take the bait yourself
Greenberg said that by ignoring the insult, you can often avoid the pointless fight. If you rise to it, things are likely to escalate, and you're giving the narcissist exactly what they want — your pain. There's also no chance of the narcissist admitting to any wrongdoing or apologising.
If something that you did were to humiliate a narcissist (e.g. set a boundary, call them out on their behavior, reject them, criticize them, ignore them, etc.), it could cause them to discard you for any one of those reasons.
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Narcissists are highly sensitive to criticism or any perceived threat to their self-image, and they will go to great lengths to protect it. If you criticize them or challenge their dominance, you will trigger a defensive response.
It is the narcissist's thin skin and sensitivity that leads to this rage because of a deep-seated fear of being "found out" for not being the person they portray themselves to be.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
The narcissist perceives every disagreement - let alone criticism - as nothing short of a threat. He reacts defensively. He becomes indignant, aggressive and cold. He detaches emotionally for fear of yet another (narcissistic) injury.
Tease, ridicule, and shame them mercilessly for not trying to figure out right from wrong, instead, pretending to have it all figured out. Stay calm, even friendly, to the person cowering inside their absolute narcissistic fake infallibility cloak. Stay light, even humorous. It's nothing personal.
They protect against shame and narcissistic injury through use of their punishment tactics. If you call out the narcissist about anything they feel like could expose them, expect rage.
Remain calm and unaffected.
Cut a conversation with a narcissistic co-worker short and excuse yourself to work on something else. Give your narcissistic partner absolutely no reaction when they try to push your buttons. Stay on topic if you're having a conversation with a manipulative, narcissistic parent.
Narcissists are predictable creatures. They are egotistical and self-absorbed – and they crave attention and control. So the best way to get revenge on a narcissist is to take away their spotlight, along with their power and control.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
Narcissists want to be in control of everything, and that includes the plans you make with them. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, be late to time-sensitive plans to throw off their day. Be unreliable so they never know what to expect from you next.
remember that ignoring them is the only way to truly hurt a narcissist forever.
Not so in the narcissistic relationship. Offending a person with narcissism can lead to immediate, lasting, and perhaps irreparable fallout.
Many narcissists, at some point or other, do become aware of the effect their behaviors have on other people, but they are completely indifferent to it.
Not all people with narcissism are unhappy, but many can't find contentment when they aren't the center of attention. They may seem unhappy or insecure unless they get their way and receive praise. However, when they're not happy, they may do whatever they can to disrupt your happiness.