When someone has little time to live, focus on expressing love, gratitude, and presence; say "I love you," share cherished memories, ask about their life and feelings, listen without judgment, offer practical support ("I'm here for you"), and gently encourage them to talk about their legacy, but always follow their lead and accept silence or tears as natural responses. Simple sincerity and just being there with a handhold or quiet presence can be more powerful than words.
To help, we asked senior social work counselor Malory Lee for advice on supporting a loved one with terminal cancer.
Try to treat someone who is dying as normally as possible and chat about what's happening in your life. This makes it clear that they're still a part of your life. Avoid talking in an overly optimistic way, for example, “You'll be up in no time”.
Being present and listening is as important as what you say
Think about responses not just words. When someone tells you they're going to die, or they're talking about living with a terminal illness, be in the moment with them. Listen closely.
Focus on their feelings
Encourage the person to share how they felt emotionally about what is upsetting them. Asking the person will not upset them more but may allow the emotions they've been holding in to be released. Voicing painful feelings can help to reduce emotional distress.
Some examples include, “You've got this” or “You're stronger than you think,” which can be helpful when someone's feeling overwhelmed or doubting themselves. Another great phrase is, “It's okay to take a break,” especially when the person is pushing themselves too hard.
What to Say to Someone Struggling With Mental Health
The “three magic phrases”—you will not be alone, you will not feel pain, we will be okay—struck a chord with me not only as someone who has sat beside dying friends, but as someone who has wondered what I would want to hear if it were me.
The four things to say
I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.
The 3 C's of grief are Control, Connection, and Continuity - three fundamental psychological needs that become disrupted after loss and require intentional attention during the grieving process.
Speak soothing words
You can remind him/her that you love him, that he/she has lived a good life, you will remember him/her, and it's okay for him/her to let go when he is ready.
What do you say to a friend going through a hard time?
Key signs 2 weeks before death at the end-of-life stages timeline: Extreme fatigue and increased sleep. A marked decrease in appetite and fluid intake. Irregular breathing patterns (Cheyne-Stokes breathing)
being a gentle presence (be there so they don't feel alone, sit with the person and talk or hold their hand, gently massage their hands or feet with a non-alcohol-based lotion, speak gently, and occasionally remind the person of the time, place and who is with them)
The analysis was deductive based on the key tasks of the GSFCH, the 7Cs: communication, coordination, control of symptoms, continuity, continued learning, carer support, and care of the dying.
Make sure you follow the person with the terminal illness' lead and ask questions that are appropriate to the conversation. "This was God's plan," or "God will take care of it." This oversimplifies the situation and can give the person a false sense of hope.
The essence of who you were as a person will live within me and within others. You will continue to give to the world as we pass on to others what we learned from you. I will miss you, but will have joy in remembering all you meant to me. Each thing you touched will bring you to mind.
The 80/20 rule is part of the Medicare hospice rule that ensures most hospice services are delivered where patients feel most comfortable — at home. Under this guideline, at least 80% of all hospice care must be provided in a patient's home setting, such as a private residence, assisted living, or nursing facility.
People's last words are often these 4 phrases: What they teach us about living happy, meaningful lives, from an oncologist
Four simple phrases: “Please forgive me,” “I forgive you,” “Thank you,” and “I love you” — carry enormous power to mend and nurture our relationships and inner lives. he explains how we can practice these phrases in our day to day lives and the impact they can have. Dr.
Hospice Isn't About Giving Up
It's not a place to speed up the process of dying. A doctor suggesting hospice does not mean they're giving up on providing care and medical treatment. It's end-of-life care, but this doesn't mean giving up hope. It means shifting focus from curative treatments to comfort and support.
5 things to say to someone who is dying
“I love you.” – you can express love to offer them comfort. “Thank you for everything.” – you can acknowledge their impact on your life so they know how important they are to you. “I'm here with you.” – let them know they aren't alone and you will support them.
The 3-3-3 rule is a simple grounding technique for anxiety that brings you to the present moment by engaging your senses: 1) Name three things you can see, 2) Name three sounds you can hear, and 3) Move three parts of your body (like wiggling fingers/toes, rolling shoulders). This helps shift focus from overwhelming thoughts to your immediate environment, offering quick relief during panic or stress.
“I know there are no words that can ease your pain. Just know that I'll always be here for you no matter what.” “Thinking of you during this difficult time.” “Sending healing prayers and comfort during this tough time.”
Keep inviting them to activities.
Sometimes people who feel hopeless will withdraw from friends or activities they enjoy. Inviting them to spend time with you may help them feel less isolated and give them new positive experiences to look forward to. Take it seriously if they mention self-injury or suicide.