Enticing them to become angry, disrespecting them through downgrading words and actions, is emotional abuse. Inducing shame, fear, anger etc. will ruin your child's self-esteem. When you play with the negative emotions of the child, you are engaging in emotional abuse.
Most children will have dips in self-esteem as they go through different stages or challenges in life, and there are different pressures that may affect them - including social media, bullying, exams, family problems and abuse.
Like many aspects of child development, self-esteem is a product of two interacting forces often described as nature and nurture. Children's biological strengths and weaknesses (nature) influence their developing self-esteem, but so too do their interactions with family and the social environment (nurture).
On the other hand, the lack of support and encouragement from parents, as in neglectful or authoritarian families, could result in the children's low perception of self, or low self-esteem.
Some of the many causes of low self-esteem may include: Unhappy childhood where parents (or other significant people such as teachers) were extremely critical. Poor academic performance in school resulting in a lack of confidence. Ongoing stressful life event such as relationship breakdown or financial trouble.
Stress and difficult life events, such as serious illness or a bereavement, can have a negative effect on self-esteem. Personality can also play a part. Some people are just more prone to negative thinking, while others set impossibly high standards for themselves.
Quality of Parental Relationship
The quality of the relationship between parents could be an important influence on children's self-esteem. Cross-sectional studies indicate that the quality of parental relationship is positively associated with children's self-esteem (Amato, 1986; Doyle & Markiewicz, 2005).
When parents are over-involved, their excessive control over how their children define themselves in the world provides few opportunities for the child to self-reflect and have his or her own positive thoughts and feelings. In both cases, the development of self-confidence and self-esteem are compromised.
A 2012 study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that children exposed to parental fighting are also more likely to have low self-esteem.
Kids with low self-esteem: are self-critical and hard on themselves. feel they're not as good as other kids. think of the times they fail rather than when they succeed.
Self-esteem comes from learning to accept who we are by seeing the insufficiencies and still choosing to like ourselves. Every child's self-esteem grows with each experience of successful interactions through positive words. It is important to build a child's belief that they can handle their life and handle it well.
Kids may have insecurity for a variety of reasons, explains Dr. Taylor, including "growing up in a family in which they didn't feel safe, loved, or valued." He adds that some kids with insecurity may have "parents who were angry, threatening, abusive."
Being yelled at has significant effects on both the body and the brain. The psychological effects of being yelled at include anxiety, depression, and interpersonal problems. Other psychological effects of being yelled at include stress, autonomic arousal, behavioral problems, low self-esteem, and sleep problems.
From ages 4 to 8, children experience a loss of self-esteem as they realize their real self is different from their ideal self. Self-esteem begins increasing very quickly starting at age 15, perhaps because of adolescents' increasingly greater personal autonomy.
Low self-esteem may stem from experiences in early childhood. If you didn't fit in at school, had difficulty meeting your parents' expectations or were neglected or abused, this can lead a person to have negative core beliefs about themselves. These are ingrained beliefs a person has about themselves.
In conclusion it appears that the most effective parental influences on a child's self-esteem are the authoritative parenting style combined with warmth and the parenting control method of induction. Each of these are considered to foster a child' self-esteem, and improve their ability to self regulate.
Michele Borba identifies five building blocks of self-esteem: security; selfhood; affiliation; mission and competence.
Consequences of Low Self-Esteem
create anxiety, stress, loneliness, and increased likelihood of depression. cause problems with friendships and romantic relationships. seriously impair academic and job performance. lead to increased vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.