Men pull away due to multiple reasons ranging from fears, insecurities, or anxieties to desperation or loss of love. It is crucial for you to figure out the reason behind his pulling away to protect your relationship. And probably the best way to deal with it is to give him space. Let him figure out his emotions.
Give him space; stop worrying about what you did to turn him off. When he withdraws, it can negatively impact your ego and self-esteem. So, shift your focus – get busy or distracted. Don't stop your daily routine and don't feel guilty about focusing attention on yourself.
There are a number of reasons why guys pull away when they like you, such as fear of commitment, loss of interest, doubts about what they want, or unresolved feelings about an ex.
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The reason why men pull away after coming on strong is because men operate differently than women. They say how they feel in that moment, which may or may not predict how they'll feel tomorrow, or the next day.
He Lost Interest
When a guy acts interested then backs off he may just have lost interest. This one might not have a clear reason. He might not even be able to explain it. He was feeling the vibes, and then he wasn't.
Some guys catch on that you want something more serious, so they disappear. If you are still asking why he pursued me then disappeared – this is a likely reason. Men often do this thinking it's nicer and less confrontational than some ugly emotional scene when you realize he's not going to stick around.
Of course, people can still pull away even in long-term relationships. For some, “distance is a way to deal with conflict,” Spector says. Your partner might withdraw from you and the relationship after an argument, until you've both cooled off.
When a guy runs hot and cold on you, it's highly likely that he's insecure. He is blowing hot when he's feeling strong emotions about you. After the first few months of dating, he begins to panic. He gets anxious that you don't like him as much as he does.
Three months is probably the most frequent time that I see people breaking up, deciding they don't want to step it up to a more serious stage, which does include agreeing to be in a committed relationship, saying “I love you,” and more of a groove.
Men will often come back after pulling away. This is because they've had the time to better understand their situation and their feelings, and now they're ready to pull down their defenses and take the next step.
If you find your man pulling away from you, give him space. Allow him the freedom to miss you and be re-attracted to you. This approach may sound counterintuitive but consider the alternate path - being needy, continually bothering him, and not letting him go. It is sure to frustrate him and drive him away further.
“I've been feeling a bit off because of your behavior recently. I'd like to talk about it. We could have a break if you're not willing to talk about it, see where things go from there on.”
You get to find out his true feelings for you
Stop chasing a guy, and his reaction will let you know if he cares for you. This will save you a lot of time guessing the nature of his feelings. Getting to know his true feelings is one of the benefits of halting your chase.
Many men feel that by being emotionally vulnerable they are being less of a man and this may be engraved deep into their psyche. Their insecurities are triggered and they fear rejection. So them pulling away could be their defence mechanism acting up.
A guy generally pulls away for a few weeks when the issues he's dealing with are solvable throughout that time. Those issues can be things such as deciding whether you two are a good match, when he's not sure about how he's feeling, or fear of his feelings, etc…
You need to find out first if he is putting in no effort because he is losing interest, or he genuinely has a lot of other things going on in his life that are taking more of his time. It is important to open up a conversation and check in with him to see how things are going with him and if anything is bothering him.
Physical attraction, sexual compatibility, empathy, and emotional connection are key to making a man fall in love with a woman.
If he has stopped bothering about his looks/personality, doesn't care about his behavior, or has stopped making an effort to be romantic, he probably is losing interest. You may feel that he has stopped trying to impress you, making romantic gestures, and being curious about the things in your life.
Show genuine interest in him to put him at ease.
If you told someone you weren't interested in them and then you start to like them, start up a conversation and ask questions about how he's been. That way, he'll feel like you really care, which may make him start thinking about you again.
When a guy stops texting you it is likely to be related to fear due to his past relationships. This is likely him reflecting or projecting his fears into the relationship with you, it is not your fault, as this is something he's dealing with personally.
The chase is when a man subconsciously forms his initial emotional attachment for you. But if you chase him (or you're too nice, too accommodating, too available or you have sex with him too soon), you take over his role as the suitor and he will lose his interest in you and his motivation for the chase.