When in social situations, a person with avoidant personality disorder may be afraid to speak up for fear of saying the wrong thing, blushing, stammering, or otherwise getting embarrassed. You may also spend a great deal of time anxiously studying those around you for signs of approval or rejection.
People with avoidant personality disorder experience social awkwardness. They spend a lot of time focusing on their shortcomings and are very hesitant to form relationships where rejection could occur. This often results in feelings of loneliness and becoming disengaged from relationships at work and elsewhere.
AVPD is often comorbid with depression and substance abuse, and is likely to be associated with increased odds of suicidal ideation and attempts,2,6,9 explaining, perhaps in part, why AVPD may be a significant predictor of chronic depression.
And having an anxious/avoidant attachment style is linked to avoidant personality disorder. People with this attachment style tend to report that their parents didn't often express love or affection. Your parents might have been around physically, but felt distant when you reached out to them for closeness or support.
The root causes of any personality disorder are not fully understood. AVPD is likely caused by a combination of genetics and innate personality and environmental factors, such as early experiences of rejection.
Avoidant Attachment Style and Narcissism. There's a significant overlap between grandiose narcissism and avoidant attachment. However, people with avoidant attachment don't necessarily believe they are superior and entitled to special treatment and unconditional admiration.
Cluster C personality disorders include avoidant, dependent, and obsessive-compulsive personality disorders. Individuals with these disorders often appear anxious, fearful, or clingy (a mnemonic to help remember Cluster C disorders are the three C's—cowardly, clingy, and compulsive).
Social anxiety disorder and avoidant personality disorder are both characterized by an overwhelming fear of being judged or embarrassed in social situations. Since the two disorders look alike and can co-occur, it's common for one to be mistaken for the other.
Estimates are that anywhere from 1.5% to 2.5% of adults have avoidant personality disorder, with both men and women affected. People with the disorder are likely to have a higher risk of suicidal ideation and to suffer from chronic depression.
Because of this emotional distancing, they tend to be less empathic toward people in need (Joireman, Needham, & Cummings, 2001; Wayment, 2006). Further, avoidant people tend to respond negatively to their partner's emotions because those emotions can signal that they need more attention and intimacy.
Avoidant people may not realize how much their communication is avoidant as they may consciously want to have a companion.
As a general statement, all narcissists are love avoidant, but people can be love avoidant and not be narcissists. This can be confusing. Taking a closer look at each type of person will clarify the signs to watch for in any relationship.
Avoidant + secure: A relationship between an avoidant and a secure person might start off well. "The secure attached partner will be able to withstand the distance the avoidant partner needs," says Holly.
As stated previously, most research indicates that roughly equal numbers of women and men develop AvPD. One prominent exception to these findings is a 2007 study published in the journal “Psychological Medicine,” which indicates that women can develop the disorder about 75 percent more frequently than men.
While avoidant personality disorder symptoms may fade or become less intense as you age, you may always have some lingering feelings of inadequacy or fears of rejection.
On the other hand, people with an avoidant attachment may be attracted to anxious partners because their pursuit and need for closeness reinforce the avoidant person's need for independence and self-reliance. Anxious and avoidant partners may also seek their partner's traits due to wanting those traits in themselves.
Avoidant personality disorder is characterized by feelings of extreme social inhibition, inadequacy, and sensitivity to negative criticism and rejection.
Nevertheless, both avoidant and anxious attachment styles were found to be associated with higher levels of vulnerable narcissism.
People who are avoidant may feel uncomfortable with the vulnerability and intimacy required in close friendships. They may also struggle with asking for or giving emotional support. As a result, they may have few, if any, long-lasting friendships because friends feel like the relationship is one-sided.
Though people with AVPD fear intimacy, they can still have successful relationships with those they trust. Since that's usually a select few people with whom they've built long-term connections, they often meet romantic partners through shared friends or family connections, according to Smith.
After intimacy deepens, the avoidant partner loses interest in being sexual, in hugging, kissing, and perhaps even holding hands. Some avoidant partners will seem to actively limit physical proximity, such as sitting closely together on a couch where contact may be possible.
Once again, people with a dismissive-avoidant style showed that they did care about relationships. Dismissive avoidant students reported higher self-esteem and positive mood than non-dismissives—but only when told that surgency predicts future interpersonal success.
Abuse at the hands of someone with an avoidant personality disorder often includes psychological and emotional abuse. Don't be afraid to reach out for help, pursue support groups for loved ones, seek your own therapy, separate, or leave the relationship completely. Your sanity depends on it.
Individuals with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style have high self-esteem and feel that relying or leaning on others is a vulnerability or weakness. People with a fearful-avoidant attachment style have a negative opinion of themselves but also have negative impressions of others.