The Scapegoat's Strengths They are not chosen at random. Rather, they are typically targeted because of their strengths. The narcissist well knows who in his sphere is most manipulable and who is most independent-minded, and he targets his greatest threat with projection and punishment.
The Scapegoat has to bear the sins of the entire family. They have to survive, alone, in the "desert" without the comfort or support of the family. So they must be strong in order to carry the burden. They sacrifice themself for the benefit of the family.
For individuals, scapegoating is a psychological defense mechanism of denial through projecting responsibility and blame on others. [2] It allows the perpetrator to eliminate negative feelings about him or herself and provides a sense of gratification.
Many times, healing the scapegoat role on a personal level is about deep healing of trauma, empowerment, and a place to process emotion and find safety in relationship. Healing the scapegoat role in community means learning how to forge new relationships of repair and effective emotional communication.
Like the strong goat Aaron selected, the target of family scapegoating is also often the strongest and healthiest member of the family. At first blush, this may sound counterintuitive. But think about it a little more.
The scapegoat then feels worthless and unable to do anything right; just their mere existence is wrong, bad, and a burden. They feel unlovable and this carries throughout their entire lives.
Often intuitive and empathetic, caretaker scapegoats can become powerful healers as adults. But if they continue to prioritize the needs of others over their own they are likely to experience anxiety, poor self-care, resentment, and burnout.
The scapegoat was sent into the wilderness for Azazel, possibly for the purpose of placating that evil spirit, while a separate goat was slain as an offering to God. By extension, a scapegoat has come to mean any group or individual that innocently bears the blame of others.
Scapegoating is a common form of parental verbal abuse. Research shows that scapegoating allows a parent to think of the family as healthier than it is. Scapegoating lets a parent minimize responsibility for and explain negative outcomes, enhancing a sense of control.
For Girard, scapegoats are always innocent of the specific charges laid against them; the accusations are always false; scapegoating is always a heinous act of injustice.
The narcissist charms everyone around them. They manipulate others to support their distorted version of reality. All the while, they enjoy the feeling of power they get from making the scapegoat suffer. The narcissist is driven by envy, jealousy and a lack of empathy.
Despite what most scapegoats will tell you, golden children are usually the more severely traumatised in narcissistic families. But the trauma is all on the inside.
1: Bill Buckner
In the world of sports, no scapegoat is as infamous as Bill Buckner, the Boston Red Sox first baseman who booted a routine ground ball that cost the Red Sox their first title since 1918.
In the Bible, a scapegoat is one of a pair of kid goats that is released into the wilderness, taking with it all sins and impurities, while the other is sacrificed. The concept first appears in the Book of Leviticus, in which a goat is designated to be cast into the desert to carry away the sins of the community.
The Psychological Effects Of Scapegoating
In the person being scapegoated, feelings of worthlessness, guilt, depression, anxiety, and isolation can arise. They may also begin to doubt themselves since their partner is denying their experiences or making them feel as though they are not worth listening to.
A narcissist will decide who their scapegoat is based on their own fears, feelings of jealousy, sense of inadequacy and insecurities. From a narcissist's perspective, a scapegoat is someone who somehow triggers their fears, feelings of jealousy, sense of inadequacy and insecurities.
Expectedly, the scapegoat oftentimes feels very jealous of the golden child. And the golden child is usually so enmeshed with their parent that they can't see anything wrong with the parent-child relationship they're in. They'll jump in to defend their parent and might even think they have the best parent in the world.
When a scapegoat leaves their family of origin they are going to experience a lot of invalidation, devaluation, dehumanization, and chaos that is designed to manipulate them back into the abuse cycle and remain a repository for the family's negative emotions.
Scapegoating is the ultimate abuse of power and a dehumanizing experience, as targets are considered to have few or no human rights by family members who mistreat them. When understood from this perspective, 'No Contact' is an essential psychological survival strategy.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
In family units where a parent or caregiver has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), there's typically a family “scapegoat” — a person the family blames for their problems as a means of deflecting attention from real conflict.