Signs of forgiveness include no longer feeling intense negative emotions (anger, resentment), a lack of desire for revenge, the ability to speak of the event without pain, genuinely wishing the offender well, and releasing the need for them to change or apologize to move forward. True forgiveness frees you from the burden of the past, allowing you to move forward with peace, and is about your own healing, not necessarily about reconciliation or excusing the behavior.
Biblical forgiveness/True forgiveness means:
Following the 4 Rs of Self-Forgiveness. Those four steps are Responsibility, Remorse, Restoration, and Renewal – also known as the “4 Rs.” If you can honestly and genuinely make your way through these four steps, you are well on your way to forgiving yourself.
Signs God might be removing someone include persistent feelings of anxiety, unease, or being drained around them, a shift in your feelings, feeling pulled away from God, doors closing on the relationship, and finding yourself making excuses for their bad behavior; it often feels heavy, forced, or like you're losing yourself, indicating they may be a hindrance to your spiritual growth or purpose.
Stages of Forgiveness
Additionally, we can live out the Golden Rule by forgiving others as we would like to be forgiven. This means letting go of grudges and resentment, extending a hand of reconciliation, and seeking restoration in relationships.
The "3-3-3 rule" for breakups is a guideline suggesting 3 days for emotional release, 3 weeks for reflection, and 3 months for intentional rebuilding/healing, helping people process a split in stages. It's a simplified framework for managing grief, contrasting with longer models, and aims to create space for personal growth by focusing on self-improvement and gaining perspective after the initial shock of the breakup, though individual healing times vary greatly and aren't set in stone.
If you are consumed with thoughts of this person but this person doesn't seem to think about you at all, God is probably telling you to emotionally detach so you can guard your own heart (Proverbs 4:23).
The biggest unforgivable sin varies by faith, but in Christianity, it's often seen as blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, a persistent rejection of God's grace, while in Islam, the gravest unforgivable sin is shirk, or associating partners with God, if not repented. Pride is also considered a foundational, serious sin across many faiths, linked to the downfall of figures like Satan.
If you find yourself stuck:
While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings.
Still, consider these steps to true forgiveness a rubric for embarking on a passage to meaningful forgiveness that will help you find resolution.
It will often be accompanied by tears, even sobbing. To forgive, to be fully released and free, requires that we go all the way into the hurt, ache, and emptiness. Feeling hurt fully doesn't require you to live in the pain for years, months, or even weeks.
Two figures holding halves of a broken heart symbolizing forgiveness.
With this declaration, Alma identified for Corianton the three most abominable sins in the sight of God: (1) denying the Holy Ghost, (2) shedding innocent blood, and (3) committing sexual sin. Adultery was third to murder and the sin against the Holy Ghost as abominable sins.
Reserved Sins?
The unforgivable sin isn't something you stumble into accidentally. It's the settled, defiant rejection of the Spirit's witness to Christ. If your sin grieves you and you desire His mercy, that itself is evidence that the Spirit is still at work in you.
In order of increasing severity according to Pope Gregory I, the seven deadly sins are as follows:
Signs God might be removing someone include persistent feelings of anxiety, unease, or being drained around them, a shift in your feelings, feeling pulled away from God, doors closing on the relationship, and finding yourself making excuses for their bad behavior; it often feels heavy, forced, or like you're losing yourself, indicating they may be a hindrance to your spiritual growth or purpose.
But it does provide some rough guidelines as to how soon may be too soon to make long-term commitments and how long may be too long to stick with a relationship. Each of the three numbers—three, six, and nine—stands for the month that a different common stage of a relationship tends to end.
Contempt. Of all the predictive factors, contempt is the most prominent one. Based on extensive research, Dr Gottman names the 'Four Horsemen' or four communication habits that are the best predictors of divorce.
Your ex staying in touch with you constantly (even after weeks or months of the breakup) is a big sign that they will eventually come back. Probably one of the biggest. It's important to note that this sign only applies if they have been doing it consistently for a while and enough time has passed since the breakup.
Accepting a relationship is over involves allowing yourself to grieve, processing emotions through talking or journaling, establishing new routines and self-care, connecting with supportive people, and creating distance from your ex (like no contact) to focus on rebuilding your own life and identity outside the relationship. It's about acknowledging the past, grieving the loss, and consciously shifting your focus to your own present and future well-being, understanding that healing takes time and isn't a linear process.
1. It's a physically, emotionally, or verbally abusive relationship. All three experts say going no contact with someone who is consistently causing harm—whether it's verbal abuse, emotional abuse, manipulation, or other cruel treatment—might be your best option to stay safe.