The Four Horsemen are four communication habits that increase the likelihood of divorce, according to research by psychologist and renowned marriage researcher John Gottman, Ph. D. Those four behaviors are criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt.
That's power. For over 40 years, John and Julie Gottman have studied couples' interactions with each other and have found that the number one predictor of divorce is contempt for your partner.
Low levels of agreeableness (the tendency to be altruistic, trusting, soft-hearted, sympathetic, warm and generous) and high levels of extraversion (the tendency to be upbeat, energetic, assertive, active, talkative and friendly) have also been considered as predictors of divorce and relationship dissolution.
Four of them stood out as being the most destructive and biggest predictors of divorce. Gottman dubbed these, The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. They are Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling.
According to Gottman's research from 1994, contempt is the No. 1 predictor of divorce within the first 6 years of marriage. Research from 2019 also suggests that harboring contempt is a predictor of an illness and poor well-being.
According to a recent survey of 191 CDFA professionals from across North America, the three leading causes of divorce are "basic incompatibility" (43%), "infidelity" (28%), and "money issues" (22%).
There are three general factors that can help predict how happy and stable your marriage will be (Larson and Holman, 1994). These factors are (from least predictive to most predictive): background and contexts, individual traits and behaviors, and couple traits and interactions.
Money is the number 1 reason behind causing a divorce between couples. In fact, all statistics also show that a lack of meeting needs leads to a huge dispute over money. If not solved, with time, it eventually results in arguing and separating couples.
These grounds are such as desertion, adultery, cruelty, venereal disease, leprosy, insanity, and conversion. Under sub-clause (2) of section 13 of the Act, there are available four ground on which the wife alone can file a divorce petition.
According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy. The least common reasons are lack of shared interests and incompatibility between partners.
A study led by the American Sociological Association determined that nearly 70% of divorces are initiated by women. And the percentage of college-educated American women who initiated divorce is even higher.
What causes divorce in marriage? Infidelity, lack of communication, financial troubles, and sparing sex and intimacy sessions are some of the common reasons for divorce.
While there are countless divorce studies with conflicting statistics, the data points to two periods during a marriage when divorces are most common: years 1 – 2 and years 5 – 8. Of those two high-risk periods, there are two years in particular that stand out as the most common years for divorce — years 7 and 8.
Australia divorce rates vs the world
The divorce rate in Australia sits in the mid point of this range, with 1.9 per 1,000 residents. This places Australia behind the United States at 2.5 divorces occurring per 1,000 people each year.
If your spouse is finding reasons to avoid interactions with you, that could be a sign of divorce. A lot of partners begin stonewalling each other to avoid hearing criticism or the possibility of angering the other. If you find yourself and/or your spouse partaking in this behavior, that is a red flag to part ways.
Elementary school age (6–12) This is arguably the toughest age for children to deal with the separation or divorce of their parents.
Usually, these four horsemen clip-clop into the heart of a marriage in the following order: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.
Using Power and Control. This is by far the most destructive force any human can bring to a marital relationship, and obviously includes the use of physical and sexual abuse or violence.
Marrying at an Early Age
Marrying as a teenager poses the highest risk for divorce, actually. Teens are three times more likely to divorce than those that marry in their 20s and later. Couple that marry in their teens are more likely to divorce.