The devouring mother 'consumes' her children emotionally and psychologically and often instills in them feelings of guilt at leaving her or becoming independent. She loves her children selfishly instead of selflessly and is emotionally manipulative making the child incompetent and dependent.
The “devouring mother” is co-dependent and “consumes” her children, particularly her sons, emotionally and psychologically. She seeks fulfillment through her children because the feminine mystique has convinced her that her identity is inseparable from her roles as wife and mother.
Idiot compassion can also be described as the devouring mother. For instance, the pregnant tiger (as opposed to the 'Tiger mom') will attack anyone who threatens her precious child. Any kind of judgment or criticism of that over-weaned creature is considered taboo and will be met with blind aggression.
The more independent you are, the less she has to control you with. Give her no ammunition to use against you. Don't ask her for help with anything. If she realizes she can't control you directly, she may send others as emissaries.
The hungry and devouring Mother is an all-consuming figure. The Mother Shadow is illuminated in both the feminine aspect of the self and the masculine aspect of the self. Experiences of insatiable thirst or hunger carry components of fear, loneliness, and dependency.
The Tyrannical Father/Devouring Mother Archetypes
The Tyrannical Father/Devouring Mother come from Jung's interpretations of the shadow aspects of the father and mother archetypes. They are the narcissistic parent who dominates and consumes their children psychologically.
Common toxic parent traits include a lack of empathy with their children and inconsistency in expressing love, understanding, and warmth. This may be because they came from similar toxic families. Unfortunately, a lack of empathy can lead to a poor bond between mother and child.
People with overbearing mothers or an overbearing parent may be more likely to struggle making decisions, suffer from anxiety, have low self-esteem, and feel uncomfortable in leadership positions. All of these can negatively impact a child's quality of life, and all of these can carry over into adulthood.
Use an even, measured tone even when your mom is extra anxious or controlling,” she says. If you want your mom to relax control, make sure you take charge of your own life. Be responsible for your own decisions and mistakes, Lebow says. “Assert yourself by telling them who you are and what you need,” he says.
Asking kids to take on more than they are able to handle emotionally or physically is destructive parenting. Making small changes as you go will improve your relationship with your children and ease the transition for you.
Some parents are bitter because they are still stuck in—and resentful of—the insufficient way they were parented. Deep down, they sometimes feel envy because their child has it so much better than they did. 2. Parents who have difficult children, or children who meet the criteria for a mental disorder.
A good example of the Terrible Mother archetype is the black-skinned Hindu goddess Kali. Her eyes are described as red with absolute rage, her hair disheveled, and small fangs sometimes protrude out of her mouth.
Overbearing mothers hover, criticize, and overstep boundaries, which can lead to a host of challenges for their adult children including low self-esteem, dependence, and perfectionism. These mothers may think they are doing what's best for their children, but ultimately their hovering causes harm.
The mother wound is the cultural trauma that is carried by a mother – along with any dysfunctional coping mechanisms that have been used to process that pain – and inherited by her children (with daughters generally bearing the brunt of this burden).
A toxic mother creates a negative home environment where unhealthy interactions and relationships damage a child's sense of self and their views of relationships with others. Over time, it increases the risk of poor development in the child's self-control, emotional regulation, social relations, etc1.
A toxic mother-daughter relationship is a dysfunctional relationship that can be detrimental to your physical, mental, or emotional well-being. It can manifest in various ways and is not something that just develops out of the blue.
The psychological effects of controlling parenting can have negative, long-lasting impacts on emotional well-being and mental health. Studies indicate that children and adults can experience symptoms of anxiety, depression, poor self-esteem, and elevated stress.
Physical features. Physical features such as hair color, hair texture, hairline, skin, and varicose veins are inherited from your mother.
In its negative aspect it may arise from a mother who was experienced as uncaring, attacking, possessive, withholding, absent, or wounded. It is likely to show up in relationships with others and in the relationship with oneself.
A dominant personality involves traits like proactivity, assertiveness, and often, extroversion. Agression and manipulation are also possible. That assertive co-worker pushing you to your limits might be a team asset and goal-oriented, but a dominant personality could be challenging to handle.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
The most common toxic behavior of parents is to criticize their child, express self-wishes, complain about the difficulties of raising a child, make unhealthy comparisons, and make hurtful statements1.
The result of toxic parents
“However, it's totally healthy and appropriate for individuals to set boundaries with family members.” Sometimes, limiting or eliminating contact with a parent is much less damaging than having them in your life.