Four Types of Emotionally Immature Parents Emotionally immature parents share the common traits of being dismissive, selfish, self-involved, emotionally immature, and unavailable.
In adulthood: Kids raised with this type of parenting often become perfectionists, overachievers, and highly critical of themselves, and may struggle with compulsive behaviors such as workaholism or shopaholism as ways of self-numbing and to feel worthy.
Some may think that an emotionally immature parent is necessarily a narcissist, but this is not true at all. There are, in fact, more than one type of emotionally immature parents. As you read the list of examples below, think about whether your parents fit any of them.
Signs you might have a toxic parent include: They're self-centered. They don't think about your needs or feelings. They're emotional loose cannons.
Emotionally mature parents are dependable, supportive, warm, open, respectful, and empathetic. They accept their children for who they are, value their individuality, allow them to be their own person, and free them from the burden of having to carry their problems.
To summarize, overparenting, lack of warmth, leniency, overvaluation and childhood maltreatment have all been associated with higher levels of narcissism. However, these parenting behaviours have often been examined in isolation or in different combinations, with mixed findings.
Daughters of narcissistic fathers are prone to blaming themselves and may even struggle with self-sabotage, negative self-talk, self-blame as well as various methods of self-harm in adulthood.
Typically, emotionally immature parents get to be that way because of unaddressed issues from their childhood. They may themselves have been raised by people who were emotionally unavailable, or they may have suffered stress, distress, or trauma that was never properly addressed.
2) The Unpredictable Mother
The unpredictable mother is overwhelmed by feelings and her parenting style is based purely on mood. This mother can create problems, issues and crises in her own mind, through emotions and relationships, passing them on to the children.
Examples of emotional neglect may include: lack of emotional support during difficult times or illness. withholding or not showing affection, even when requested. exposure to domestic violence and other types of abuse.
Create space for yourself: disengage, set limits, or leave. Before spending any time with your parent(s), try to plan how you're going to create some healthy space for yourself during the interaction. This way, you don't disconnect from your needs/goals, nor do you feel stuck in their one-person show.
Trauma-related immaturity refers to the ways in which trauma can impact a person's emotional and social development. As we mentioned before, trauma can often result in behavioral problems or emotional difficulties that make a person appear immature or developmentally delayed.
Effects of Authoritarian Parenting on a Child
Tend to be unhappy. Less independent than other children. Emotionally immature and a lack of self-regulation – become hostile and aggressive under pressure.
The Golden Child is greatly valued by their narcissistic parent for a variety of reasons–these form a heavy load for the child to carry. Within the dysfunctional family, the golden child learns early on that their role is to please their parent and live out their parent's own unfulfilled ambitions.
They are emotionally reactive, but shame their child's emotions. Narcissists are often angry and aggressive when they feel disappointed or frustrated. If they believe their child is being critical or defiant, they can lash out.
A narcissistic parent will often abuse the normal parental role of guiding their children and being the primary decision maker in the child's life, becoming overly possessive and controlling. This possessiveness and excessive control disempowers the child; the parent sees the child simply as an extension of themselves.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent can be difficult. The children of a narcissist are often children who grow up to be codependent, people-pleasers, and have low self-esteem. They may never feel good enough for their parents or themselves.
The results are quite clear: Parents who "overvalue" children during this developmental stage, telling them they are superior to others and entitled to special treatment, are more likely to produce narcissistic children -- who can grow up to become narcissistic adults, unless something is done about it.
While parental overvaluation was associated with higher levels of child narcissism over time, it was not associated with more self-esteem. In contrast, parents who showed more emotional warmth did have children with higher self-esteem over time. Parental warmth was not associated with narcissism.
Studies say men reach emotional maturity around 43, while 32 years of age is where most women mature.
By age 5, your child has made leaps and bounds in their emotional development. They've gotten much better at regulating their emotions, and they talk about their feelings easily. They have also gotten better at controlling their impulses.