Things covert narcissists say
“I am too smart for this place. I can't believe I have to be slumming like this.” “Being in a relationship just leaves you open to manipulation. I'm glad I am single.”
Dominates the conversation: Covert narcissists may become aggressive and start to provoke or intimidate you in order to be proven right or have you back down. Lying and denial: Since they will try to win the argument at any cost, they may lie about what happened and deny facts to confuse you, similar to gaslighting.
Covert narcissists tend to “rage” by talking more calmly yet incessantly for hours and hours until you say you are sorry for things that you were not responsible for. They want you to bow down to them to control you. They express rage overtly when alone with the victim.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
Some of the most common weird things covert narcissists do to manipulate their victims include: hoovering, gaslighting, guilt-tripping, love bombing etc. This post will help you understand the covert narcissist better. Who Is The Narcissist?
While narcissism is often associated with arrogance and excessive self-love, it's caused by extreme insecurity and low self-esteem. Covert narcissism can be a result of one or more of these experiences: Childhood trauma or abuse: Traumatic experiences in childhood are a common cause of covert narcissism.
Covert narcissists are often highly sensitive and may have low self-esteem, which may lead them to seek frequent validation from others. Those with covert narcissism also tend to be highly sensitive to criticism and may be more likely to internalize it due to their fragile sense of self.
There are many words people high in narcissism don't want to hear, but perhaps the worst involve a “no,” as in “No, you can't," "No, you're wrong," or — even worse — “No, I won't.” This makes it difficult to go about your ordinary business with the people in your life who don't understand the give-and-take of normal ...
It comes hand-in-hand with this that narcissists hate being criticised or called out. Which is exactly why there's one word in particular narcissistic people cannot stand: "no".
Grandiose and vulnerable narcissism are the “two faces” of narcissism that represent related but separate traits.
The Covert Narcissist's Abusive Behaviors
These self-serving tactics can include gaslighting and distorting reality; manipulations to get what they want; showing contempt and giving the silent treatment; dominating and controlling their partner; and belittling and humiliating verbally and emotionally.
Covert narcissists may not be aware of their toxic behaviors or they may not know their behavior is stemming from a personality disorder. This isn't an excuse for acting in hurtful ways, but it is something to keep in mind when dealing with a narcissist.
More specifically though, the Three Faces of Narcissism consist of three variations on the narcissist theme: 1) Prosocial Narcissism (charitable, albeit sublime), 2) Asocial Narcissism (lack of consideration of others), and 3) Antisocial Narcissism (malevolent actions against others).
Grooming a person, manipulating her into doubting her feelings, generating shame regarding her best qualities, and manipulatively creating dependency are four ways a narcissist destroys a person from the inside out.
In the case of covert narcissistic abuse, this might manifest as behavior or speech designed to lead, guide, and twist the words and actions of those around them to fit the narrative they have created. For example, they may put themselves down to manipulate others into complimenting them.
As with many things, a covert narcissist is a little different. They also are hurt by indifference; however, they are hurt most by being a mirror for them, reflecting to them the truth of who they are. The covert narcissist needs to see themselves as the person they want to be, their idealized self.
Instead of engaging with people like the overt narcissist, the covert narcissist chooses to be alone because no one can live up to their high expectations.
Unlike fine wine or cheese, narcissists don't get better with age. They don't mellow, become wise, or develop late-onset self-awareness. Their personalities intensify, and without their ability to control others, they become bitter, defensive, and bossy.
People with narcissism tend not to like seeing other people happy. When they see you happy, the best thing you can do is to stay firm on your boundaries, focus on the present and what makes you happy, and avoid getting into arguments. They might try to hurt you to disrupt your peace and justify their actions.