This is the “mirror argument” in action—a psychological dynamic where the very flaws we call out in our partner are often the ones we unconsciously struggle with ourselves. At the core of this pattern is projection, a defense mechanism where we assign our own emotions, fears, or shortcomings to someone else.
It might also be a coping mechanism to manage fears of abandonment. By mirroring the behaviors or interests of others, individuals with BPD may believe they are increasing their likability, reducing the likelihood of rejection.
The 12 Freudian defense mechanisms are compensation, denial, displacement, identification, introjection, projection, reaction formation, rationalization, regression, repression, ritual & undoing, and sublimation.
The trauma response stems from our innate need for social connection and co-regulation. In this response, a person may mirror the other individual's gestures, facial expressions, or speech.
Mirroring helps to facilitate empathy, as individuals more readily experience other people's emotions through mimicking posture and gestures. Mirroring also allows individuals to subjectively feel the pain of others when viewing injuries.
Mirroring a device requires an internet connection and can use quite a lot of data. If you suspect your phone is being mirrored, check how much data each app is using and look for anything suspicious. You should be able to do this through your phone's settings.
The personality types most likely to practice mirroring on a regular basis are those that possess an Extraverted Feeling (Fe) function. This includes ENFJs and ESFJs, for whom the Fe function is dominant, and INFJs and ISFJs, who have an auxiliary Fe function.
A child who has been abused may learn to fawn to avoid any further abuse, such as physical violence, sexual abuse, or verbal abuse. In essence, the child aims to keep the abuser happy and appeased so that they don't become abusive again.
The six main types of trauma responses are fight, flight, freeze, fawn, fine, and faint. All reactions to trauma are valid, but trauma should always be addressed in therapy.
Narcissists do enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror. They may spend more time grooming themselves to bolster their grandiose self-images. In this way, narcissists may be more prone to self-objectify—and identify with and to base their self-worth on their external appearance, instead of their character.
Sublimation: Sublimation is a healthy defense mechanism where individuals channel negative or unacceptable impulses into more acceptable or even productive behavior. This can include channeling anger into physical exercise, channeling sexuality into art, or channeling aggression into sports.
The manic defense is a psychological mechanism that individuals employ to shield themselves from uncomfortable emotions and thoughts. This defense mechanism often manifests as a flurry of activity or an overwhelming need to distract oneself from feelings of despair, helplessness, or inadequacy.
Some degree of unconscious personality mirroring is almost inevitable and no cause for concern. But if attempts to mimic others are labored, extreme, or have a negative effect, it's possible that some change is in order. Suppressing our own traits to mimic others' too much or too often may be unhealthy.
Simple gestures like nodding, maintaining open posture, or mirroring a client's stance can make them feel seen and understood. These nonverbal behaviors foster safety and connection - essential for a strong therapeutic relationship.
If they start mimicking your gestures, such as the way you touch your face or the way you hold your hands, it's a sign they might be mirroring you.
Signs of childhood trauma
Leanne Johnson has developed the 3 Cs Model of Trauma Informed Practice – Connect, Co-Regulate and Co-Reflect. It is a comprehensive approach based on the current evidence base, emphasising the importance of relationships that young people require in trauma recovery.
It won't rid you of PTSD and your fears, but let your tears flow and you'll maybe feel a little better afterwards. 'Crying for long periods of time releases oxytocin and endogenous opioids, otherwise known as endorphins. These feel-good chemicals can help ease both physical and emotional pain.
The tendency to please is related to Dependent Personality Disorder. While the people-pleaser may not need others to do things for them, they do have a need for others, regardless.
When our brain then recognises similarities between our present situation and our past trauma (e.g. a colour, smell or noise), it can activate the fight, flight, freeze, flop or friend response, even if we're not currently in danger.
Here, listed in alphabetical order, are five disorders that can be particularly difficult to live with:
Other research also shows that, based on similar interests and patterns of behaviors, these are some of the most highly compatible matches:
While there are 10 different personality disorders, many of them share similar symptoms.
Mirroring is when two people display similar body language, voice tone, or diction. Mirroring often occurs when two people are in rapport during conversation. The science-y term for this rapport is limbic resonance.