It's quite common for 11-year-olds to co-sleep occasionally, often due to anxiety, nightmares, or stress, and studies show many children this age do, but for some experts, around puberty (age 11) is a natural time to start transitioning to more independence as bodies change, though stopping depends on the family's comfort, cultural norms, and the child's individual needs, as there's no single "right" age.
Children all over the world sleep with their parents. Some for lack of choice, others just because they like it. It makes them feel secure. It's totally fine. It's a good idea to give them a space to call their own though, regardless of whether they sleep in it.
6-12 years old: should go to sleep between 7:30 and 8:30 pm. 13-18 years old: should go to sleep around 10:00 pm. Bare in mind that once puberty hits, it will be difficult for teenagers to fall asleep until around 11 pm.
According to Dr. Brazelton of Touchpoints, most children will stop co-sleeping on their own by 13 years of age. However, when co-sleeping stops being something that you find enjoyable or your child isn't sleeping well, then that can mean it is time for a change.
It's perfectly fine to co-sleep. Don't stress about it. For now your daughter needs you for comfort, safety and assurance.
Co-sleeping with a child over 1 year old has a little less risk than with one under 12 months. At a toddler's age of 1 to 2 years old, they can roll over and free themselves in case they are trapped in the bed. As a child gets older, it becomes less risky to co-sleep, but it's still best for them to sleep on their own.
The 7-7-7 rule of parenting generally refers to dedicating three daily 7-minute periods of focused, undistracted connection with your child (morning, after school, bedtime) to build strong bonds and make them feel seen and valued. A less common interpretation involves three developmental stages (0-7 years of play, 7-14 years of teaching, 14-21 years of advising), while another offers a stress-relief breathing technique (7-second inhale, hold, exhale).
Co-sleeping with older children can be especially detrimental as it can create stress for the entire family, lead to poor sleep patterns for both parents and children, and inhibit the ability of children to develop independence.
While sharing a bed might ease pressures on families while children are very young, the habit of co-sleeping can pose problems as children mature. By the time their children are 2 – 2 1/2 years old, most parents will be eager to have them sleep easily through the night in their own beds.
Build a consistent bedtime routine
To ease the transition, consider putting a mattress on the floor in your kid's room and sleeping there for a few nights, suggests Briggs. You can slowly move the mattress further from the bed until you're no longer in the room at all.
The koala is the animal that sleeps approximately 90% of the day (20-22 hours), a necessity due to its low-energy eucalyptus diet requiring intensive digestion, making it the ultimate champion of sleep in the animal kingdom, followed closely by sloths and bats.
The 10-3-2-1-0 rule is a popular sleep hygiene guideline that creates a countdown for winding down before bed, advising: 10 hours without caffeine, 3 hours without big meals or alcohol, 2 hours without work or stressful activities, 1 hour without screens (phones, TV, computers), and aiming for 0 snoozes in the morning, promoting better sleep quality by reducing stimulants and preparing the body and mind for rest.
By prioritizing sleep, Gen Zers are enhancing their ability to learn, remember, and problem-solve, which could give them an edge in their studies and future careers, according to Tarry. Physical health also gets a boost from early bedtimes.
School-Age Children (6-12 years): While most school-age children sleep independently, it's not uncommon for some to experience fears or anxieties that make sleeping alone challenging. Providing reassurance and gradually encouraging independence can assist in overcoming these hurdles.
"70/30 parenting" refers to a child custody arrangement where one parent has the child for about 70% of the time (the primary parent) and the other parent has them for 30% (often weekends and some mid-week time), creating a stable "home base" while allowing the non-primary parent significant, meaningful involvement, but it also requires strong communication and coordination to manage schedules, school events, and disagreements effectively.
Children might be motivated to sleep with adults because of separation anxiety or a sense of unavailability from their caregivers, especially in times of vulnerability (such as during the night). The same attachment drive might motivate some parents to share close proximity to their child at night.
The 5-3-3 rule is a baby sleep training method for night weaning and fostering independent sleep, involving a baby sleeping 5 hours, staying awake for 3 (for a feed if needed), then sleeping another 3 hours, and continuing in 3-hour increments, teaching them to self-soothe after the initial long stretch, though it's a flexible guideline, not strict; it aims to create longer stretches for parents while meeting the baby's needs, often used around 4-6 months.
Dr. Rebecca Fisk, a pediatrician at Lenox Hill Hospital at Northwell Health in New York City, warns that babies under the age of 12 months should absolutely not co-sleep as bed-sharing increases the risk of suffocation and Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS). “Co-sleeping is a personal decision, not a medical decision.
While the American Academy of Pediatrics advises that parents avoid bed-sharing for a baby's first year of life to reduce risk of sudden infant death syndrome (Ben-Joseph, 2022), they offer no official sleep guidelines for children of toddler and preschool age (e.g., 1 to 6 years old).
Key points. Forty-five percent of moms let their 8- to 12-year-olds sleep with them from time to time, and 13 percent permit it every night.
The 7-7-7 rule of parenting generally refers to dedicating three daily 7-minute periods of focused, undistracted connection with your child (morning, after school, bedtime) to build strong bonds and make them feel seen and valued. A less common interpretation involves three developmental stages (0-7 years of play, 7-14 years of teaching, 14-21 years of advising), while another offers a stress-relief breathing technique (7-second inhale, hold, exhale).
There's no age limit on co-sleeping. Most adults I know have difficulty sleeping alone. We are pack animals, we are meant to be around others especially in our most vulnerable states like when we are asleep.
Here's the deal, all the methods in the world won't make a difference if you aren't using the 3 C's of Discipline: Clarity, Consistency, and Consequences. Kids don't come with instruction manuals.
Giving 20% of your attention will lead to 80% of quality time spent with your children. Your children crave your attention—not all of it; just 20%. Your attention is split into multiple areas: work, your marriage, your kids, your side hustle.
7-Year-Old Developmental Red Flags
Acts sad or nervous much of the time. Does not share or take turns with other children. Unable to dress self. Unable to feed self.