First, it's important to understand that losing sexual attraction happens to most couples as we move on with our normal life. Dr. Tina B. Tessina, a psychotherapist and author of How To Be Happy Partners: Working It Out Together, tells SheKnows that decreased attraction “is very common as time passes in relationships.”
In reality, it's not uncommon in long-term relationships for attraction amongst partners to dissipate. There was once sexual attraction but the spark has died. If you've noticed that your feelings of attraction for your partner have faded, you're certainly not alone.
Physical attraction can fade: Over time, you may no longer find your partner physically attractive anymore. This could happen if you lose the chemistry that existed between the two of you. Or, you may feel unattracted to changes in their body or appearance.
If you are feeling a lack of attraction to your partner, it could be a phase. Sometimes we may be going through something or experiencing a high amount of stress in our lives that makes us lack sexual desire, and you may feel you're not attracted to your boyfriend.
For some, a lack of attraction can be a temporary phase — with or without a change in physical intimacy — but for others, it may mean your heart isn't in the relationship anymore. Either way, it's time to reevaluate what's next for you and your partner. Four relationship experts talk us through potential paths forward.
If you have formed a relationship with someone you have never been physically attracted to, it is best to gently confront the person. Denying this deficit often results in more destructive behaviors, like having an affair or rejecting your partner in bed.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
Urban Dictionary defines Sudden Repulsion Syndrome as, A condition many people experience after dating an individual for a short amount of time. The individual is probably polite, nice, and generally pleasant to be around, but one day, you suddenly find yourself disgusted by his or her appearance.
Can You Love Someone And Not Be Sexually Attracted? You can definitely love someone if you're not physically attracted to them. Love and attraction are two separate things, and while it's great when they go together, it's not a complete deal breaker if the physical attraction is missing.
Why do marriages become sexless? Marriages become sexless for a variety of reasons. Common reasons are a lack of desire, postpartum depression, frequent marital conflict, or a recent marital crisis or personal crisis that has impacted the client.
Oftentimes a loss of attraction actually stems from the absence of feeling loved or emotionally connected. Improving your relationship in those areas can boost your feelings of physical attraction towards your partner.
How much sex should a couple have? Once a week is a common baseline, experts say. That statistic depends slightly on age: 40- and 50-year-olds tend to fall around that baseline, while 20- to 30-year olds tend to average around twice a week.
One of the most prominent signs of when to call it quits in a marriage is unwillingness to communicate. No matter how hard you try to engage your partner, it doesn't seem to work. You try the nice voice and the sweet thoughts. You try the yelling and the threatening.
It's very common for sex in long-term relationships to go through different phases, including some in which one partner doesn't want to be intimate or feels like they don't like sex with their partner.
If you're not being satisfied emotionally, sexually or intellectually, it's probably time to move on. Ending a relationship is hard, but it's sometimes the only correct thing to do. If you and your partner aren't connecting on the most fundamental levels, it will be best for both of you to move on.
Even over the course of a day or an hour, attraction can fluctuate, and that's completely normal.
Besides no longer getting excited to spend time together, you may find yourself flat-out avoiding your partner. You may stay late at work, see movies or eat dinner by yourself, or even take the long way home to avoid being with your partner for a moment longer than you have to.
Common Signs You May Be Feeling Unhappy In Your Relationship
You look for excuses not to see your partner. You feel the urge to be with someone else. You feel you would be happier living a different life. You are not attracted to your partner anymore.
If you find yourself totally disinterested in what your partner thinks, feels, says or does, it's likely that loving feeling is gone. Arzt adds people who “only do the bare minimum” may be falling out of love. “They may oblige with date night, but they feel restless and bored,” she says.