Children can show clingy behaviour at any stage up to late primary school. Infants may cry to let their parents know they don't like being separated. Toddlers or older children may cry, cling or even have a full-blown meltdown if their parent is leaving them. In most cases, these reactions are perfectly normal.
Clinginess is a natural reaction for children experiencing separation anxiety, or fear of being separated from a person they trust. Separation anxiety tends to be strongest from ages 9 to 18 months and usually improves by the time a child is 3. These stages correspond to phases of young child development.
Your child is clingy because they're seeking limits.
Children often will “misbehave” or become clingy because they're seeking some input from you. They may want to know where they can go or where they can't go. They're testing some boundaries, which is normal.
A lot of babies and toddlers go through a clingy stage. It mostly happens when they are between 10 and 18 months but it can start as early as six months old.
In older children, clinginess often arises in response to stress. Kids may become clingy when they're going through a major life change, such as attending school for the first time, experiencing the arrival of a sibling, or moving to a new home.
A child can show clinginess due to a fear of being away from their parents (separation anxiety) or because of stranger anxiety, where the fear is more about being around people the child doesn't know.
What Is Being Clingy? First, it's important to define clinginess. It's not just immaturity, though a person's emotional intelligence and maturity level definitely factor into how clingy they are. Clinginess is also not the same thing as spending a lot of time around your partner or wanting to see them all the time.
What Does it Mean to Be Clingy? To be clingy is to stay highly close or dependent on someone for emotional support and a sense of security. Clingy people may feel desperate to latch onto their friend or partner and depend on them for constant check-ins, updates, and responsiveness to all needs.
Dependent personality disorder usually starts during childhood or by the age of 29. People with DPD have an overwhelming need to have others take care of them. Often, a person with DPD relies on people close to them for their emotional or physical needs. Others may describe them as needy or clingy.
Being clingy makes you more dependent on someone, making it harder to break away from them. You don't want to attribute your happiness to one person (unless, of course, that person is yourself). One of the most difficult things to work on is being less clingy, especially if you are already an extremely clingy person.
Kids may struggle to fit in when they are younger than their classmates or just slower to mature. They might not have developed the same social skills as their peers yet, or they might just have different interests. As kids get older they tend to catch up, but in the meantime they may be feeling confused and lonely.
If it suddenly seems like your teen believes the universe revolves around her, you aren't alone. Selfishness is common during adolescence, when teens become highly focused on their developing world view and values.
Teen apathy is real – and common. If your child doesn't seem to care about anything beyond video games, it's probably due to low self-esteem. The remedy is to help them feel good about themselves — and their talents and abilities.
Clinginess can be a sign of a healthy relationship — it says that your child feels safe and comfortable with you. To that end, avoid ignoring, discouraging or punishing clingy behavior, as it can have lasting effects on your relationship.
'Acting out' emotionally
Angry outbursts, physical aggression and tantrums can all be signs of an attachment disorder, as can excessive crying. Helen commented: “Children with an attachment disorder may have learnt that they won't get their needs met unless they make themselves the centre of attention.
Clinginess may be the result of anxiety, and can greatly interfere with the innocent pleasure that can be derived from a relationship. However, it is very possible to ease your way out of this behavior, into more healthy interactions with your partner.
Psychologically, clinginess is about wanting to feel safe by reducing the emotional and physical distance between another person. It could be because someone is jealous, controlling, overprotective, or dependent.
What does it mean to be clingy? Clinginess is an act of resisting separation by holding tight or grasping onto something. In romantic relationships, the term is often used to describe someone who needs reassurance from their partners in a heavy-handed, frenzied, or even compulsive manner.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
Neediness is an excessive need for acceptance or affection that results in that person repeatedly becoming overly attached to people and depending on them too much. An insecure attachment is often the culprit behind clinginess in relationships, according to relationship expert Jaime Bronstein, LCSW.
An individual might hold on to a relationship even though it consistently makes them feel frightened or unloved. Moreover, relational trauma can also lead people to feel and act clingy even when they're in a loving, stable relationship. This may occur with no obvious reasons for being insecure.
Appearing emotionally attached but lacking empathy: An emotionally needy person can be very selfish because they only cling to others or appear to need them to make themselves feel better. Clinginess is not flattering. It is unstable and needy behavior.
Teenage emotions are no joke, and you will probably get a taste of the wild ride over the next year. Twelve-year-olds love their parents but want nothing to do with them, and friends become more important than ever. Around now, your child will begin to explore their sense of personal identity.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, kids start dating at an average age of 12 and a half for girls and 13 and a half for boys. Every teen — or preteen — is different, though, and your child might be ready sooner or later than their peers.