“Couples do and can stay together after an affair, but it takes a lot of work to repair broken trust.” Klow says most couples don't recover when one cheats but “those that do can emerge stronger from having gone through the process of recovering from the affair.” It takes time, however.
“Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to trust someone again after they have cheated on you,” says Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed psychotherapist. “Not all relationships can repair after infidelity, but there are many that do.”
One study found that only about 16 percent of couples who'd experienced unfaithfulness were able to work it out. (Although, of course, this is a hard metric to measure—how long after an affair does a couple need to stay together to claim “success”?)
"In general, getting over infidelity follows the usual stages of grief: shock/denial; anger/defiance; bargaining; depression, remorse; and acceptance," explains Weiss. Rather than suppressing your emotions, work through them. Coming to terms with what happened is integral to the healing process.
Someone is three times more likely to cheat if they have cheated in the past. A person is two to four times more likely to be cheated on if they have been cheated on or have suspected cheating in a prior relationship. Men and women are equally likely to cheat or be cheated on.
Johns Hopkins University. "Married people who cheat don't often regret it: Infidelity survey reveals little remorse, high rates of satisfaction." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 22 May 2023.
Although many people believe in the adage, “Once a cheater, always a cheater,” it is not necessarily true. Not every person who cheats once will cheat again. However, serial cheaters are people who seek out sexual partners on a continual, chronic pattern of infidelity.
Be willing to commit but don't make empty promises
“I cheated and feel guilty! Does the guilt of cheating ever go away?” It does. It is possible to get over the pain and guilt and move on.
Suspicious Actions And Behaviors
Hiding the phone, shutting down the computer, discussing friends without giving names, or just being secretive after an affair is going to be a huge trigger. Any actions or behaviors, even flirting, can be an emotional trigger.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety have been linked to infidelity. A person may also experience relationship anxiety, which often results in a person feeling more insecure about themselves. It can also induce doubt towards one's partner, and excessive worry that one will be cheated on again.
Yes, serial cheaters can change, it's just harder. As with any long-term ingrained habit, it'll take longer and more work to unravel and replace unhealthy patterns. You may or may not want to stick around while they fix themselves. Personally, I would be wary of staying with someone who cheated on me more than once.
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
How long does it take to get over being cheated on? It's different for everyone, but research suggests around 2 years. Your pain isn't going to go away overnight, and that's okay.
The Reasoning
There are many reasons people cheat, but according to Campbell, they usually fall into three categories: individual, relationship, and situational.
Experts like Nelson agree the only reason to stay with a cheating spouse is if he or she is deeply and genuinely sorry for the betrayal and willing to work for your forgiveness. This means they show they understand the pain you went through after learning about the affair, Dr.
Some will behave very normally with their partners whereas, some men feel deep remorse and regret for cheating on their partner. “So, the main thing to keep in mind here is that every cheater is different. Their thoughts and feelings will be all over the place.
Improved future relationships
Forgiving someone who has cheated on you can improve other relationships. It helps break down barriers after you feel betrayed. By letting go of negative feelings associated with the incident, you'll be able to reconnect to others without fear or judgment.
A study of 495 people revealed eight key reasons: anger, low self-esteem, lack of love, low commitment, need for variety, neglect, sexual desire, and circumstance. 1 It's important to understand that these reasons arise within the cheater and are not the responsibility of the betrayed partner.
Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them. In fact, many affairs happen in relationships that are otherwise very happy.
While the numbers vary depending on the scope and type of survey, it appears that close to half, or 45% of individuals in monogamous relationships admit to having an affair. Close to 25% of marriages stay together after an instance of cheating.
If they are willing to learn from their mistakes to avoid repeating them, this can be a positive sign that the relationship may be able to be preserved. If, however, the cheater shows little to no desire to repair the relationship, it might not be wise or healthy to give them a second chance.