Take control of a narcissist's schedule to upset them.
Narcissists want to be in control of everything, and that includes the plans you make with them. If you want to drive a narcissist crazy, be late to time-sensitive plans to throw off their day. Be unreliable so they never know what to expect from you next.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
The most effective weapon to fend off narcissists is self-love. When you love yourself, it is more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate you and get under your skin. It will hurt them to know that you do not need them, that you are better off without them, and that you love yourself exactly as you are.
If there's one thing narcissists hate, it's being told what to do. When you push them into a situation where they have to answer to someone else, it's like their own personal hell. Figure out a way where you can get the narcissist in your life to be underneath an authority figure to really watch them squirm.
Stop complimenting them, don't be submissive or agreeable, and don't do anything for them that could be seen as ego-boosting. When you do this, the narcissist has no further use for you and will either discard you or do everything in their power to pull you back into the supply-providing role.
Narcissists are frightened, fragile people.
Rejection, humiliation, and even the tiniest of defeats can shake them to their core.
Being angry and highly stressed. Covert narcissists often experience severe fluctuations in mood, which are often based on the opinions of others. The burden of criticism (whether real or anticipated) can be overwhelming and can cause covert narcissists much discomfort.
They crave the limelight and the perks of success more than they need healthy relationships, intimacy, or love. The tragic aspect of narcissism is that they depend totally on other people to nurture their sense of self, yet they are devoid of any ability to give back to others in any way that has meaning.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Although narcissists act superior, entitled and boastful, underneath their larger-than-life facade lies their greatest fear: That they are ordinary. For narcissists, attention is like oxygen. Narcissists believe only special people get attention.
They're often introverted, sensitive, and prone to experiencing anxiety and shame. They may also struggle to maintain close friendships as they focus heavily on themselves, require attention, and are hyper-sensitive to perceived criticism.
Type As can also be dangerous to narcissists
Although they can be targeted, type A people can also become a narcissist's worst nightmare. One of the most important defenses against dark personalities is having strong boundaries yourself, and type A people are usually aware they have the right to build them.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
A common misconception is that narcissists go for the weak, because they are easier to manipulate. In fact, narcissists prefer to try and hook someone in who is strong-willed, and who has talents or characteristics they admire.