There is a pattern showing a sharp increase in the risk of death particularly, but not exclusively, within three months after the death of a spouse. This has also been called "dying of a broken heart". Being widowed also increases the likelihood of developing severe mental disorders.
The widowhood effect has been found among men and women of all ages throughout the world. Recent longitudinal studies put the excess mortality of widowhood (compared with marriage) among the elderly between 30% and 90% in the first 3 months and around 15% in the months thereafter.
Loneliness is perhaps the biggest challenge for widows. They may feel like no one understands what they're going through and that everyone is too busy to reach out to them. It can make it difficult to cope with the sadness and grief of losing a loved one.
Rehl divides widowhood into three distinct stages: Grief, Growth and Grace.
Another bad aspect of the widowhood rites is to shave all the hairs of a woman. This includes the hairs on her head and other very personal parts of her body. She is also made to walk bare footed. Sometimes, where the widow is suspected of killing her husband, her hands are tied with a rope and pulled along.
One of the first steps in combating loneliness is being around others who share some of the same interests as you. Try your best to pull yourself out of your grief enough to volunteer a weekend or two each month at a local charity or food bank to help those in need.
The sad image of a grieving widow may not be entirely accurate, according to a study published on Tuesday showing that six months after the death of their partner, nearly half of older people had few symptoms of grief.
The reality is, according to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average age of a widow or widower in the U.S. is currently 59-years-old.
Until the intensity of your grief subsides, you can't expect to be truly happy again. Work through your guilt, extreme pain, extreme sadness, intense anger, and every other feeling and emotion. Often, reaching out to a grief counselor gives you a structure for doing this work.
Often the second year is the hardest as that's when the real grief work might begin. This is the time when you may be ready to face your grief head on and deal with any issues that are holding you back. If you're not ready yet though, don't feel guilty. There is no deadline and everyone grieves in their own time.
With the widowhood effect, older adults who have lost a spouse face an increased risk of dying compared to those whose spouses are living. Causes of the widowhood effect may include self-neglect, lack of a support network, and lifestyle changes that follow the death of a spouse.
/ˈwidō/ /ˈfī(ə)r/ A burning desire for sex following bereavement of a spouse or partner. The loss of TOUCH.
Step 1: Take Care of Immediate Things
In addition to managing your grief, you will have to handle certain affairs immediately. Notifying family members, loved ones and family advisers will likely be one of the first things you must do. Decisions about organ donation and funeral arrangements will be the hardest.
According to a study by the Pew Research Center, 61% of widows and widowers eventually choose to remarry. The study also revealed that men are more likely to remarry than women.
It's true that some widowed people do move on too fast, because they're in denial and don't want to face pain; such relationships often bear a cost. Still, even for those not in denial, finding a connection remains a huge human urge.
Overall, the researchers also found that in the year after losing a spouse, men were 70% more likely to die than similarly aged men who did not lose a spouse, while women were 27% more likely to die compared to women who did not become widowed.
Some people feel better sooner than they expect. Others may take longer. As time passes, you may still miss your spouse. But for most people, the intense pain will lessen.
The feel of Loneliness
Losing someone creates a gap of them in our lives. Similarly losing her spouse puts the widow into a position of loneliness. Even if the widow is always surrounded by the most loving and supportive people (friends & family) there'd still be times when she'd go through a mental state of isolation.
Stage One: Absorbing the Shock of Change
Many widows say they “feel dead inside” and “like nothing matters.” You might also feel paralyzed by your inability to handle even the ordinary financial tasks of your household.
There is no "right or wrong" about when you'll be ready. Many people are ready months after the death of their partner, and for others, it takes years. The most important thing is that you have this conversation with yourself, and aren't trying to satisfy someone else's idea of when you're ready (or not).
Depression is usually the longest and most difficult stage of grief. Depression can be a long and difficult stage in the grieving process, but it's also when people feel their deepest sadness.
People react to grief in very different ways. Some people find they cry very frequently and may be overwhelmed by the strength of their emotions. Others may feel numb for some time, or feel unable to cry. Some people experience swings between extremes.
But there is no timetable or timeline for grief. It is completely normal to feel profoundly sad for more than a year, and sometimes many years, after a person you love has died. Don't put pressure on yourself to feel better or move on because other people think you should.