We'll get right to it: The most effective way to stop being attracted to someone who isn't good for you is to use the mental technique of refocusing. When you think about that person or are with them and feel the pull, you need to replace your existing thoughts with other healthier thoughts.
According to Helen Fisher and her colleagues, the reason romantic rejection gets us hooked is that this sort of rejection stimulates parts of the brain associated with motivation, reward, addiction, and cravings.
Focus on other relationships too
But, don't ignore your other friends. If you want to know how to stop being attracted to this friend, either because they rejected you, or you know for certain that they will reject you *because of circumstances*, you need to try to keep everything else in your life moving ahead.
"You may be able to reduce how much you focus on or think about the object of your desire, but you cannot fully suppress your body's natural desires," O'Reilly tells Elite Daily. So, if you're crushing on someone hardcore, simply deleting the connection you feel probably isn't going to happen.
The truth is that while many factors can spark sincere attraction, we still cannot force ourselves to desire someone.
The initial good feeling you experience when you meet someone is “attraction” not “love”. Love is pure while attraction can simply fade away. You can say that you are attracted to him/her because of his/her beauty, talent, character, personality or wealth, but love goes beyond that.
When you feel an attraction that is too intense, it often means that you are responding to the sense that you need to consume that person entirely now, because they may slip through your fingers at a moment's notice.
The same interests and values may also be a powerful way people are drawn to someone. When two people have similar hobbies, goals, or beliefs, it might create a sense of connection and compatibility. Emotional connection is another reason why people may feel drawn to each other.
The answer is Dopamine. A drug like chemical that pulsates the body in search of pleasure. The dopamine-driven reward loop triggers a rush of euphoric drug-like highs when chasing a crush and the desire to experience them repeatedly.
Being romantically rejected can be a familiar feeling that mirrors one's childhood, leading that person to seek out more of the same. People with a history of rejection may sometimes subconsciously seek out similar scenarios, hoping that the story will have a different ending.
For this reason, an individual can definitely be in love with someone without feeling sexually attracted to them. If you choose to stay with your partner, then you need to be aware that such a relationship poses a unique set of pitfalls and problems which both of you need to be aware of, and to address as they arise.
Physical attraction can fade: Over time, you may no longer find your partner physically attractive anymore. This could happen if you lose the chemistry that existed between the two of you. Or, you may feel unattracted to changes in their body or appearance.
Perhaps you consciously want commitment, but deep down you fear true intimacy, losing your sense of self in the relationship, or getting hurt. As a result, it may feel safer to be with someone who is emotionally unavailable, because you know on some level that you don't have to fully commit to the other person.
If this person is making deep (intimate or extended) eye contact with you, you know you have the green light. They like you, either romantically or as a friend/coworker/etc. Direct eye contact triggers a little hormone called oxytocin that helps us to feel connected and bonded to another person.
Scientists studying human chemistry believe chemical bonds related to neurotransmitters in the brain may trigger an attraction with someone so intensely that it causes a tingle down your spine.
How to know if the chemistry between two people is genuine and not just physical attraction? You are not only physically attracted to that person but also feel emotionally connected with them. You genuinely care about them and want to know more about and spend time with them outside of the bedroom.
A crush you can't get over is a pretty good description for a psychological phenomenon known as limerence. The concept was defined by Professor Dorothy Tennov in the 1970s, following her research into romantic attachment and the infatuation that some people suffer during the early stages of love.
Freitag says. “If you feel strongly about someone, it is unlikely you can shut that off very easily.” It might take some time — days, or even a few weeks — to get over a crush, but give yourself grace and be patient with yourself.
How long does attraction last? It's a common belief that romantic partners become less attractive to one another in long-term relationships, but this isn't true for everyone. There's no limit to how long attraction can last. It might be brief, or might last for the rest of your life.
Studies have estimated the euphoric stage can last anywhere from six months to two years. Although a small portion of the population (approximately 15% to 30%) say they are still in love and that it still feels like the first six months—even after 10 or 15 years later. Brown explains, "We don't know why this is.
For most people, the honeymoon phase lasts between six months and two years, but there is no hard and fast rule for how long you should be in this phase.