Emotionally healthy people respect your boundaries and have empathy and concern if they cross them. However, narcissists and toxic personalities do not and often thrive on this behavior due to their own emotional problems. Therefore, establishing firm boundaries is a must for your own mental health.
What happens when you defend yourself to a narcissist?
They are incapable of seeing their own bad behaviors, and it is simply easier to blame you. The more you try to convince them of the justification for your actions, decisions, or behaviors, the more they see your defense or explanation as a sign of guilt and wrongdoing. Narcissists will not change.
This might sound a bit counterintuitive, but narcissists love to go on the attack whenever presented with the opportunity. By trying to defend yourself against their random baseless attacks on you, you provide them further opportunities to pull you down.
Narcissists also gaslight or practice master manipulation, weakening and destabilizing their victims; finally, they utilize positive and negative emotions or moments to trick others. When a narcissist can't control you, they'll likely feel threatened, react with anger, and they might even start threatening you.
How do you stand your ground against a narcissist?
“When dealing with a narcissist, you should be assertive with your boundaries and make it clear to them what those are. For example, if you are not okay with something they want you to do, tell them up front and hold your ground. Don't let them pressure you into doing it anyway.”
How do you stop a narcissist from controlling you?
What to Do With a Narcissist
Educateyourself. Find out more about the disorder. It can help you understand the narcissist's strengths and weaknesses and learn how to handle them better. ...
Create boundaries. Be clear about your boundaries. ...
Speak up for yourself. When you need something, be clear and concise.
Apply the no-contact rule and walk away from them. If you see them on the road, pretend they don't exist, ignore them entirely, and move out. Does ignoring a narcissist work? First of all, narcissists hate being ignored, so ignoring them may be the best form of revenge.
Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant – This is the core of narcissistic rage. Many narcissists are constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the privileged, powerful, popular, or “special” individuals they make themselves to be, and react intensely when their fears are confirmed.
Narcissists feel threatened whenever they encounter someone who appears to have something they lack—especially those who are confident and popular. They're also threatened by people who don't kowtow to them or who challenge them in any way. Their defense mechanism is contempt.
When you don't depend on anyone to make money and you use your abundance to take care of yourself and not predators, you will always have the ability to control your own future. This is power, and pathologically envious narcissists are often turned off by it because it means they cannot easily control a victim.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
