You can be respectful while being honest and firm, Schmitt says. Tell your friend why you're stepping away, but pay attention to how you deliver the news. Be kind and mature, especially if your friend didn't see it coming and feels hurt or confused by your decision.
If you have already spoken up in the past, then it's enough to say, gently, “I'm sorry, but as I've said before, this friendship doesn't feel mutually supportive anymore to me and so unfortunately I need to end this. I hope things go well for you” (or whatever wording seems honest and clear to you).
“I want us to be on the same page, and feel like we can be open with each other, however, there are some things that I choose to keep for myself and my mental home, (here are my boundaries), do you think you can respect that?” “Do you feel like I do my best to support you? Do you think you support me?”
What is the Silent Treatment? The silent treatment is a refusal to verbally communicate with someone, often as a means of punishment, emotional manipulation, or control. Although this type of behavior is more common in an intimate or romantic relationship, it can also happen with family members, friends, or co-workers.
“Toxic friendships happen when one person is being emotionally harmed or used by another, making the relationship more of a burden than support,” says Suzanne Degges-White, author of Toxic Friendships. A bad friendship can increase your blood pressure, lower your immunity, and affect your mental health.
Ending a friendship can make you feel a range of emotions like inadequacy, unworthiness, poor self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and loneliness. It's important to take the time to slow down and learn from both the positive and negative lessons in that friendship.
Although everyone has good times and bad times, if your friend tends to be more pessimistic than optimistic, it may be a sign to end the friendship. "If you have a friend who is consistently negative without making efforts to change, it may be time for some distance," Place said.
The silent treatment is a way to inflict pain without visible bruising – literally. Research has shown that the act of ignoring or excluding activates the same area of the brain that is activated by physical pain.
The silent treatment might be employed by passive personality types to avoid conflict and confrontation, while strong personality types use it to punish or control. Some people may not even consciously choose it at all.
If they regularly use a passive-aggressive strategy to deal with conflict, however, you may want to take a different approach. Remember that giving a friend the silent treatment when you're upset or frustrated is unhealthy and immature.
They're never around in difficult times
So, being too busy, citing excuses, or flaking out on you every time you need help or support is one of the unmistakable signs your friend doesn't truly care about you.
✔️ Be clear about what you've decided
This might include telling the other person the particular aspect of their behavior that doesn't work for you, Talley says, hard as that may be. Sommerfeldt adds: “Be honest about how you've felt in the relationship and explain why you no longer want to be friends.”
Psychologist Şirin Atçeken says: “An unhealthy friend is someone who is never supportive and is maliciously competitive, or uses your success to get ahead themselves. Toxic individuals can also often lie to make themselves look better than others. This borders on narcissism.
Things You Should Know. Friendship red flags include: When a friend insults you, belittles you, or downplays your achievements. A friend making everything all about themself and only coming to you when they need a favor.
When someone puts you down, they may be trying to assert dominance over you by reducing your confidence. Humor can turn the situation around by giving you control over the insult. If you cannot come up with a witty comeback, try just laughing in response.