INFJs often identify with the term “empath” and it's not surprising given their ability to deeply tune into the essence and aura of someone and feel their emotions. When INFJs love you they will tune into your emotions and will often know when something is wrong, even if you don't tell them.
They love surrendering to the connection between two people when all the distance falls away and they each express themselves openly and without censorship. And they love sharing their endless warmth and sensitivity with their soulmate. As has often been observed, there's no one more loving than an INFJ in love.
They need some time to open up and feel comfortable enough to show their feelings. Once they do, they'll turn into your guardian angel. You'll know unmistakably that an INFJ has fallen in love with you. They will shower you with tenderness, listen to your thoughts and concerns, and do everything to make you happy.
INFJs show love through little things like asking if you've had lunch, asking about your day, asking how your family is doing and so on. They might even ask these things every day (at least I do).
INFJs' Two Favorite Love Languages
There are five different love languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, or Physical Touch. From what I've seen online and the INFJs I've talked with, Quality Time and Words of Affirmation are the two most popular love languages for INFJs.
Kindness. As sensitive personalities, INFJs feel attracted to people who show kindness towards others. Extraverted Feeling is their auxiliary function, which means INFJs try to connect in a gentle way, and appreciate those who can do the same. Most INFJs also strive to make a positive impact on the world.
INTP (“The Logician”)
In the world of personality theory, the INTP and INFJ pairing has been nicknamed “The Golden Pair” because these two types can be highly compatible.
INFJs seek someone who is open-minded and willing to explore different ways of looking at the world. That's what really turns them on. INFJs want to be able to express their thoughts and feelings freely without being judged, but also have a partner who is willing to listen to them and consider different perspectives.
INFJs are likely to thrive in relationships where their partner is putting in an equal amount of effort. They tend to look for partners who are motivated, trustworthy, and encouraging. They want to feel fully loved and accepted as they are in a relationship and are unlikely to give up on their partner.
A heartbroken INFJ might think they should never have trusted this person in the first place and eat themselves up with guilt. They might get angry and defensive, scared of ever letting another person in. It's okay to feel those things, but it's not healthy to stay there long-term.
ENFP. If you have an ENFP as a friend, you'll know how fun and inclusive these types can be. ENFPs may be an INFJ's best match due to the similarities and complementary traits these types share.
INFJs never make the first move.
It's not completely impossible for an INFJ to make the first move, but it's highly unlikely for an INFJ to put themselves out there, especially with a stranger. Even when an INFJ knows that the other person is into them, they probably still won't make the first move.
INFJs ranked as having low dominance according to the CPI™ tool. Since the traits linked with low-dominance were being quiet, cautious, or hesitant to take action, this makes sense. INFJs tend to be on the quiet side, and they also tend to be extremely independent.
Here's Who Drives an INFJ Crazy:
They have a ceaseless hunger for authority, especially over your decisions. They pride themselves on “telling it like it is”, but this only succeeds in making the look superior and unabashedly tactless.
For example, an INFJ may be turned off by someone who is superficial and focused on material things. INFJs are all about connecting with others and they care deeply about meaningful, authentic relationships. Consequently, someone who is too concerned with money or material objects may be a big turn-off for them.
INFJs are the most extroverted of the introverts, but we tend to lack confidence. INFJs tend to flirt with prolonged, intense eye contact. We'll occasionally say hi or wave, but nothing else. If we end up getting closer, we'll open up little by little.
Who Should an INFJ marry? An INFJ should consider marrying an ENFP or ENTP. Both of these personality types place a high value on social life. This can help the INFJ gain confidence and social skills.
You attract an INFJ by listening to them; without trying to come up with solutions. Although advice can be very helpful at times, sometimes, listening intently really helps more. LIstening helps validate the emotions of people and show how attentive and aware you are. But also that you're present.
They crave deep mental and emotional connections with others; proximity or just a few shared interests won't cut it. This is especially true when it comes to love and dating. As a result, INFJs can really struggle to find Mr. or Mrs. Right.
INFJs are sensitive souls who are easily overwhelmed, but they have their limits. If they feel stressed by their environment, or the people in it, they'll tend to cry or become very quiet and want to be alone. Some INFJs will be cold, sarcastic and very blunt or speak to someone only on a very superficial level.
INFJs are so concerned about the feelings of others that we often hold ourselves back. We can be reluctant to open up or make the first move in a relationship because we're not sure if the other person really wants to listen to us or really cares about the issues and ideas that are so precious to us.
INFJs and INTPs are one of the most common relationship pairings; so common, in fact, that they are often called “the golden pair”.
Pros of Dating an INFJ: Incredibly supportive. Intrinsically driven to make you happier every day you're with them. Shakes the foundation of your worldview in an affirming way. Cons of Dating an INFJ: A lot of unresolved existential dread.