One of the most common signs that someone is emotionally unavailable is that they don't reveal or show their actual feelings around you. And while you may encourage them to open up and be able to express their emotions, they never let their guard down around you to say what's really on their mind.
If he's acting nervous, angry, frustrated when you share any type of feeling, you might be dealing with an emotionally unavailable man. They're not used to dealing with emotions and they will try to avoid it at all costs. It takes time to learn and understand empathy.
While there is no one explanation for emotional unavailability, it can be caused by a number (or combination) of factors. These include attachment styles developed in childhood, history in relationships, trauma, mental health conditions, and one's circumstances and priorities.
Traumatic events: There could also be situational causes such as a break-up, divorce, or traumatic experience that can cause people to shut down emotionally in order to maintain everyday functioning, because if they were to feel the extent of their emotions it might be challenging for them to go on living their lives.
Emotionally unavailable men are disconnected from their actions which are in contradiction with their words, and their inability to connect in an emotionally healthy manner means that they can't be into you in a healthy way.
Have a conversation with your partner and make sure they understand that their emotional unavailability is a problem for you. Confirm that they are willing to do something about it. Make sure that they understand that they need to take responsibility for making a concerted effort to reach out to you.
One of the possible reasons why a man can turn emotionally unavailable is because of past hurts. When you ignore an emotionally unavailable man, there is a possibility that this could trigger an old trauma or hurt. Instead of him opening up or realizing, he might feel you're doing the same thing again.
An emotionally unavailable person is also not receptive or supportive when you express your feelings. If your partner becomes uncomfortable, put off, frustrated, or withdrawn when you choose to open up and be vulnerable, this is an indicator that they're not good at handling emotions—both their own as well as yours.
He might not be touchy-feely; emotionally unavailable men aren't big fans of PDA, and that probably won't change right away when he falls in love. Still, he'll initiate physical closeness to show you that he has feelings for you.
This doesn't necessarily mean they don't care about your feelings, but they might not have the emotional capability to identify and honor your needs. Since an emotionally unavailable person isn't comfortable exploring their own emotions, they might not be able to connect with other people's emotional needs, either.
“When you meet someone who isn't emotionally available, you may notice that their communication behaviors are inconsistent, they pick and choose when they answer you or don't, wait stretches of time before they text you back, hoping to keep you on the line—and all of these are red flags.”
"In other words, people who attract emotionally unavailable people tend to have grown up in homes where one or both parents were also emotionally unavailable. In IMAGO therapy (a form of relationship counseling), we refer to this as the 'Triple P Effect.
Sometimes people stay the same. That means it's up to you to decide how much work you're willing (and able) to put into your relationship with an emotionally unavailable person. “Maintaining relationships — whether platonic or romantic — requires a certain level of emotional investment and availability,” Farina says.
Emotionally unavailable individuals are also quick to find excuses to explain why they are late to visit you, do not show up on dates, or have not spoken to you in a while. They may say that they are busy. But if they are constantly “busy” doing things and hanging out with people besides you, this could be a red flag.
If you need a lot of quality time, affection, and reassurance, an emotionally unavailable partner is not the right fit for you. If you find yourself constantly pursuing your partner for more intimacy and closeness, take a moment to really consider if you can do this for the rest of your life.
Emotionally distant men can view physical touch as overwhelming or unnecessary unless it leads to sex or is part of sex. They don't often initiate hugging, cuddling, or hand-holding. They might feel uncomfortable with public displays of affection or act put upon if you request physical affection.
The answer is yes! They can fall in love when they see the right person. Emotionally unavailable men would be ready to drop all their unhealthy behaviors so that they would not scare their love interest away.