To help a friend who is isolating, reach out consistently with low-pressure contact (texts, calls), offer practical help (errands, meals), encourage small, enjoyable activities, listen without judgment, and gently suggest professional support if needed, while respecting their pace and space. Showing you care through small actions, not grand fixes, is key to combating loneliness and building trust.
Ease them into social stuff by asking them for a chill coffee and a chat about what's been going on with them. Let them choose a space that they feel comfortable in, whether that's your front room, in the park or in their favourite cafe place, and let them get to talking about it at their own pace.
In approaching someone who is isolating themselves, balancing empathy with respect for their autonomy is key. It's about being there for them, offering support, and patiently waiting for them to open up in their own time.
Nurture Your Connections
Focus on improving and strengthening your current relationships. Stay in touch with friends and family regularly, especially if you are in an isolated area. Connect through social media, video chat, or by phone.
Loneliness and social isolation are different, but related. Loneliness is the distressing feeling of being alone or separated. Social isolation is the lack of social contacts and having few people to interact with regularly.
“Social isolation and loneliness each independently have more than a 25% increased risk for significant health issues and not just mental health issues like anxiety, depression or suicidal ideation, but other diseases, particularly heart disease, stroke, diabetes and dementia,” Dr.
Psychological symptoms, syndromes, and stressors can all influence whether an individual experiences loneliness or becomes socially isolated. Several of these factors, including anxiety and depression as well as cognitive factors such as dementia, are briefly discussed below.
What are the main signs and symptoms of chronic loneliness?
Schedule regular family and friend meetings.
The phone is a great way to reach out and (virtually and hygienically) touch someone, but video calls are even better for the spirit. That's because seeing others' faces via video conferencing has been shown to reduce loneliness and depression.
6 Things To Avoid Telling A Lonely Loved One & What To Do Instead
How to Support a Friend Who Is Struggling
“You're not alone—I'm with you in spirit!” “Feeling alone and isolated is both a symptom and cause of depression, creating a vicious cycle of loneliness and mental illness,” Dr. Rabin says.
The "7-year friend rule" suggests that friendships lasting over seven years are highly likely to become lifelong bonds, as they've survived major life changes and built strong trust, while research indicates people often lose about half their social network every seven years due to evolving life contexts like school or work, replacing old friends with new ones that fit their current environment.
The 11-3-6 rule of friendship is a theory suggesting it takes about 11 encounters, each around 3 hours long, over roughly 6 months, to transform an acquaintance into a real friend, emphasizing consistent, quality time and different settings for deeper connection. This rule highlights that strong friendships aren't accidental but require sustained effort and shared experiences to build familiarity and understanding.
Give her space
She may be going through family troubles or other friend drama. Give her time to focus on her—and you can take the opportunity to focus on you. Even the strongest and healthiest of friendships often have periods of no-contact. It's completely normal for you two to have independent lives—and you should.
If someone self-isolates, this can often result from low self-esteem, poor self-confidence, or social anxiety. Self-isolation sometimes happens due to a problematic situation, such as a relationship betrayal that causes someone to feel they need a break from social interaction.
The best way to help a reclusive person is simply by showing up. Spend time with them, chat with them, help them out with things around the house. You can also be their method for getting out of the house.
How to recognise and support someone who may be lonely
Take a walk in a park, or sit in a café and watch the world go by. Feel the positive impact of simply being in the presence of other people. Start small: Especially if your confidence is low, make a plan you feel comfortable with to meet a friend for coffee, or a walk, something you feel at ease doing.
Just as concerning is the link between loneliness and cognitive decline. Research suggests that chronic loneliness can accelerate brain aging, increase the risk of dementia by roughly 40%, and impair cognitive functions including memory, attention, and executive function (Guarnera et al., 2023; Sutin et al., 2018).
Avoidant personality disorder (AVPD).
People with avoidant personality disorder also tend to isolate themselves. However, their avoidance of social interaction stems from low self-esteem and fear of rejection rather than a lack of desire to socialize.
A recent privatelyfunded study of more than 20,000 American adults aged 18 years and over (Cigna, 2018) used a 20-item loneliness scale and found that loneliness levels were greatest in young adulthood (18-22 years old) and gradually decreased with age such that the lowest levels of loneliness were found in older ...
Self-esteem – A person with a low self-esteem or lack of self-love can contribute to that person's isolation. Having a low self-esteem can cause one to overthink and stress themselves out when being around people, and can ultimately eliminate that feeling by isolating themselves.
Potential Harmful Effects and Risks of Having No Friends
Increased Loneliness – Feeling disconnected and isolated. Higher Stress Levels – Lack of emotional support can make coping harder. Lower Self-Esteem – Feeling unworthy or socially excluded. Reduced Happiness – Less social engagement can lead to sadness.