Let's recap
You may never or rarely receive a genuine apology from someone with NPD, for example, or — due to a lack of empathy — they may not be able to consider your needs over theirs. Narcissism is manageable. If you or someone you care about is living with NPD, speaking with a mental health professional can help.
If you tell narcissists about mistakes they've made or feelings they've hurt, it's almost impossible to get them to say sorry. They won't do it because they don't feel any sense of guilt. Narcissists lack empathy. As such, they simply can't understand why the other person is hurting or why they're worried.
Narcissists are unable to tolerate the possibility that they could be to blame for a wrongdoing, so they don't even consider that as an option. When a narcissist experiences blame, it leads to feelings of shame and this is not an emotion they have the tools to deal with and manage.
Instead, the typical narcissistic apology involves a reparative gesture that they think the other person will like. Depending on the people involved, this can involve anything from buying expensive jewelry to inviting their mother-in-law to dinner.
Dealing with any form of narcissist can be difficult, but when you see that the narcissist is enraged, do not continue engaging with them. Physically distance yourself from them as much as you can. Ignore them and avoid any interaction with them. Set your boundaries, remembering that they will try to manipulate you.
They get jealous about everything
They talk a good game, but narcissists actually have very low self-esteem. Low self-worth/confidence/esteem is at the core of a narcissism. This low sense of self naturally makes it extremely easy for them to become jealous – very jealous.
Ridiculing you. Those who live with narcissism may find it difficult to hold positive and negative feelings for someone at the same time. As a result, things may get heated in an argument. You may experience insults, put-downs, and even mocking behaviors, like laughing as you express hurt.
They don't do anything that doesn't benefit them
They didn't buy you dinner out of the kindness of their heart… They are probably going to ask you for a world of favors afterwards. Narcissists don't do anything without a purpose to benefit them. Giving a narcissist what they want is the last thing you want to do.
Taking your money and assets – Normal people, would feel guilty about doing the types of things a narcissist does, but they never take responsibility or apologize.
People with strong narcissistic tendencies and other dark personality traits tend to blame others for their own bad behavior. If they are lying, then they will accuse others of lying. If they are cruel, they will say that others are cruel.
The best way to do this is to accept their behavior — annoying as it is — and realize they're simply psychologically incapable of apologizing. What's more, they're not going to change. Practicing acceptance can help you disengage from arguments with them and help you limit your feelings of frustration, anger and hurt.
This is a great quality to have because it shows you can experience empathy and consider others. While you would think this approach would be best in most any situation, one situation in which apologizing can lead to worse outcomes is with the narcissist. Never apologize to a narcissist.
Offer encouragement and validation. People with narcissism typically respond well to praise. They may want to do well in order to demonstrate their ability, especially as therapy begins. Your recognition of the effort they're putting in may motivate them to keep going and increase the likelihood of successful therapy.
To keep their victims nearby, then, they'll make apologies left and right without taking any real actions to improve themselves or make amends. These are not real apologies—they are manipulation tactics. Any counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist in the world will attest that an apology without change is manipulation.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
"Narcissists are primed to be abusive because they're so hypersensitive, and they don't have empathy, and they don't have object constancy," Greenberg said. "So they are primed to take offence and be abusive and not really understand... It's a lot of work for the non-narcissistic mate."
Narcissists value fame, beauty, and success more than relationships. Sure, they date and have friends and often these relationships start out exciting — but fizzle quickly. “People who are narcissistic should have a trail of bad relationships behind them,” Campbell said.
Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.
Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant – This is the core of narcissistic rage. Many narcissists are constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the privileged, powerful, popular, or “special” individuals they make themselves to be, and react intensely when their fears are confirmed.
Facing a setback or disappointment that triggers shame and shatters one's self-image can then trigger anger. Being envious of someone else having something that they don't have (i.e., material things, relationships, status) may prompt a rage response.