Very few people like confrontation—but when done well, the resulting conversation can lead to a stronger, closer relationship moving forward. If you've been hurt, offended, or wronged by someone else, it is in your best interest to address the issue for the sake of the relationship and your own well-being.
Recognize and apologize for anything you may have done to contribute to the situation. Make certain, however, that it is a legitimate wrong or oversight and not false guilt brought on by past situations. However, don't assume that past abuse gives you a pass on your own responsibility for your actions.
In A Good Apology: Four Steps to Make Things Right, Molly Howes, Ph. D., a clinical psychologist in Boston, delineates the elements of a solid apology. She explains that you should seek to understand the other person's injury, offer sincere regret, make restitution, and show it'll never happen again.
Try to have compassion for them, which will make you feel better. If applicable, take responsibility for your own part in the matter (but don't blame yourself unfairly). You can have compassion and forgiveness for others while still seeing their actions as unskillful, harmful, unfair, or immoral.
It's okay to hurt and it's okay to tell someone they hurt you. You want to honor your feelings knowing it's natural and normal to feel hurt and angry too! Remember to respect yourself!
They feel like you robbed them of their attention by not seeking revenge (as sick as it sounds). So they try to make amends. Once you ignore them for some time you will have the perspective to forgive them.
Forgiveness actually embodies three different things, each of which applies to different situations and provides different results. The three types of forgiveness are: exoneration, forbearance and release.
What is it called when someone purposely hurts you?
Sadists and psychopaths. Someone who gets pleasure from hurting or humiliating others is a sadist. Sadists feel other people's pain more than is normal. And they enjoy it.
The best revenge is no reaction. Believe it, the silence and zero reaction really bothers your ex, and they consider it as the best served revenge. Nothing creates more curiosity than silence. Your ex would expect a vent or an angry rant from you, but don't give in.
Success can often be deemed the best revenge because you're not even the one having to tell others about it. As you work in silence, your success makes the noise for you. Others begin to champion your accomplishments, telling those around you just what you were able to accomplish and achieve.
Remain positive. Remain positive by doing the things you love and engaging with the people you care about. This will distract you from the situation and help you find your inner peace. You might even want to be nice or friendly to the hater.
