It's absolutely ok to remove toxic people from your life. Now I know that it's not always easy to do so, especially if the person in question is a family member, romantic partner, or friend, but eventually, you just have to say, “enough!” You need to prioritize your mental and emotional well-being.
No matter who it is, if your relationship is harming your mental health, the best decision you can make is to cut them out of your life. Toxic people can make you feel consumed by a negative outlook on yourself or isolate you from people who truly are good for you.
It's natural to assume someone's bad behavior is a conscious choice. But many people with toxic traits don't realize that their behavior impacts others. You may have toxic traits that you don't know about. Some toxic traits, like absolutism, manifest subtly.
Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They'll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people.
What is the psychology behind cutting someone off?
Cutting someone off can be a basic function of self-respect and self-valuation. Relationship expert Rachael Pace writes about this and makes a savvy point: “Letting toxic people become manipulative and use you for their own good is never a good sign.
Toxic people are often pessimistic, and their attitude can be contagious. If you spend too much time around them, you may start to doubt yourself and question your ability to achieve your goals. Additionally, toxic people can be manipulative and Machiavellian.
What happens when you cut someone out of your life?
Cutting someone out of your life is often more difficult than it sounds. It means that all forms of communication have been cut off, and all interaction is completed. The memories will soon be forgotten, as will that person. But it's more than just getting rid of someone; it isn't that easy.
Many people who behave in a toxic manner have been through trauma themselves, and instead of dealing with that trauma, these people start exhibiting toxic traits. These people usually don't know how to process trauma and stress in a healthy manner, so they end up being unpleasant around people.
Toxic relationships generally follow three stages: idealizing, devaluing, and discarding. Learn about each of these stages and the impact it has on you.
This doesn't mean you have to interact with them, but people aren't born “toxic” and generally get that way from observing such behavior in the home as a child or experiencing abuse. Setting healthy relationship boundaries with toxic people is essential, although it can be very challenging.
Just say, "This isn't working for me" or "It's time to say goodbye," and give a few more statements, but keep it brief. There's no point in being vindictive or accusatory. That will only make your partner more emotionally volatile. Be as calm as you can when you deliver this news.
Settle the tab first. Be firm with refusing to pour another beverage. Speak in a calm, cool, and collected way, and be clear that you're definitely not going to give them more alcohol. Don't bargain with the patron.
