Even if you don't really feel it, showing empathy can help de-escalate an argument and soothe the narcissist if they become aggressive. Make them feel heard: Narcissists like feeling important, so if you need them to calm down, it can help to show them that you're listening and you value their perspective.
Narcissists love a good brawl; it helps feed their narcissistic supply. And they always fight dirty. So for your own sanity, try to avoid getting into an argument with one if you can. If it's not possible, remember to stay calm and factual.
In a social interaction, discussion, or argument, regular, well-meaning people treat others with curiosity, empathy, and good faith. A narcissist, on the other hand, sees interaction as a win-lose situation. To win, they try to dominate, bully, deceive, demean, humiliate, and hurt others.
People on the narcissism spectrum — from those with narcissistic traits to those with diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) — may have an intense desire to win arguments, as it helps keep their ego intact. At times, it may seem as though they'll accomplish this by any means necessary.
What is the silent treatment after an argument with a narcissist?
The Purpose of the Silent Treatment
Essentially, the point of the silent treatment is to make the victim feel confused, stressed, guilty, ashamed, not good enough, or unstable enough so that they would do what the manipulator wants.
A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.
The best way to shut down a narcissist is to walk away from them. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door.
Pretty much anything that doesn't give a narcissist what they feel entitled to will make them angry. If you ignore them, disregard their advice, or make decisions without getting their input, they will make their disapproval known to you.
How do you outsmart a narcissist silent treatment?
If they give you the silent treatment, don't respond. Don't answer their calls or texts, don't check on them or care for them when they are sick and don't offer them any kind of support. –Walk away from the relationship.
How do you shut down the narcissist during the silent treatment?
Give them and yourself some space. One way to diffuse a tense situation is to retreat for a while. Give yourself some room to regroup and collect your thoughts. The narcissist may realize that the silent treatment isn't as effective as they thought or that they're risking everything by using it.
However, this apology is never genuine or meant to take responsibility for their actions. The narcissist apology, or fauxpology, is meant to benefit the narcissist in some way, while removing all responsibility from themselves.
Some typical examples of bait include: Fear-provoking & scaremongering - these include any attempts to illicit fear and anxiety in you or others. A narcissist will seem to inherently attune to your specific fears, insecurities or anxieties. Intrigue - classic narcissistic fishing technique of trying to pull others in.
Narcissistic rage occurs when a narcissist's beliefs about their perceived importance or grandiosity are confronted. In turn, they respond with extreme anger toward the perceived threat. Whether narcissistic rage results from criticism, losing control, or minor setbacks, being on the receiving end can be terrifying.
