Narcissists are often arrogant, self-important, and devoid of empathy. They are so in their own world they can't even see you. It's hard to stand in someone else's shoes when you can't see past your own. Narcissists see you not as you, but more as an extension of themselves.
Narcissists never develop the ability to identify with the feelings of others—to put themselves in other people's shoes. In other words, they lack empathy. In many ways, they view the people in their lives as objects—there to serve their needs.
Tips for dealing with a narcissist that sees you when you're happy. Dealing with a person with narcissism can be difficult because they often don't want to see you happy. It can lead to arguments, aggressive outbursts, and shaming. The person might also play the victim and try to convince you that you were wrong.
Highly empathetic
Empathy, in a word, is an opiate for the narcissist. Individuals who have a high level of empathy are extremely appealing to narcissists because narcissists crave acknowledgment and validation for their thoughts and feelings (clinically, being "mirrored").
Most narcissists enjoy an irrational and brief burst of relief after having suffered emotionally ("narcissistic injury") or after having sustained a loss.
They may say that to try to act compassionate and make you believe that they're comforting you. But truth is, it's about how your tears are making them uncomfortable. They may feel anxious, slightly guilty, angry, disgusted – whatever emotion they're experiencing, they're uncomfortable and want it to stop.
Dealing with any form of narcissist can be difficult, but when you see that the narcissist is enraged, do not continue engaging with them. Physically distance yourself from them as much as you can. Ignore them and avoid any interaction with them. Set your boundaries, remembering that they will try to manipulate you.
Here are some narcissism red flags to look out for: Lacking empathy. They seem unable or unwilling to have empathy for others, and they appear to have no desire for emotional intimacy. Unrealistic sense of entitlement.
There are plenty of tell-tale signs, like self-importance, a lack of empathy, a demanding personality and an excessive need for admiration.
Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.
#5 The Narcissist Will Attack Your New Partner
Because you've moved on to someone new, your new partner serves as a constant reminder that they were not good enough for you, so they'll launch an attack against them. They'll start spreading false truths about your new lover and slandering their name on every corner.
The narcissist, then, is dependent on the other. He needs the other's submission to keep feeling powerful over and over. In a sense – despite how self-assured and independent he may seem – the narcissist cannot exist alone. He needs a victim to feel like he exists.
Common narcissistic traits include having a strong sense of self-importance, experiencing fantasies about fame or glory, exaggerating self abilities, craving admiration, exploiting others, and lacking empathy.
If a narcissist is interested in you, you might notice that they shower you with admiration and attention shortly after you meet them. They might be quick to say “I love you,” put you on a pedestal, and make grand romantic gestures.
In addition to comparison voices, narcissists may simply have thoughts about needing to be special or wanting extra attention or praise: They're wasting their time on those other people. Do something to make them look at you.
Narcissists tend to display exaggerated body language and facial expressions. The 1990 study on conversational narcissism also found that narcissists tend to be overly dramatic in their hand gestures and facial expressions. They may also speak in a loud tone of voice.
Toxic People, for the Most Part, Are Narcissists
Narcissists have absolutely no concerns outside of their own needs and desires. They don't care about the people around them as much as they care about themselves.
Thus, when narcissistic individuals are asked about their Cognitive and Affective Empathy, they tend to report less understanding, recognition, and feeling of others' emotions.
Control, control, control. A narcissist needs to have control over the situation they're in. Whether that's in a relationship, in a social scenario, or something else, a narcissist will manipulate the circumstances to maintain control.
Narcissists are motivated by feeling superior and expanding their power, and so the only things that matter when helping others are receiving adulation, fame, influence, opportunities, notoriety, and other resources. They dont actually care about others because to them other people are just things to use.
Deep-Seated Fear of Rejection / Being Unimportant – This is the core of narcissistic rage. Many narcissists are constantly hounded by the insecurity that people may not see them as the privileged, powerful, popular, or “special” individuals they make themselves to be, and react intensely when their fears are confirmed.