At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.
How Did Narcissists Feel About the Breakup? Both narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry were related to feeling more anger right after the breakup. This is consistent with the tendency for narcissists to be especially hostile when they're rejected.
Narcissists hate losing their supply, so they won't let you go easily. Prepare for them to promise "to change." They might suddenly start doing things for you that you'd been complaining about. They may say "you'll be lost without me," or "you'll never find someone like me." Don't listen, Orloff advises.
They WILL move on quickly because narcissists tend to view other people (including their partners) as conveniences — and once you are no longer useful, they will move on.
A narcissistic ex might contact you repeatedly and even harass you if you won't talk to them. In extreme cases, they might even violate court orders to get to you. They might entirely blame you for the breakup and refuse to accept responsibility.
They can have deep regret for failed relationships and they may feel loss very deeply. But they feel that regret and loss only insofar as they relate to their own agenda and feelings. Their remorse points inward. They may feel very sad that they lost someone and they may genuinely miss that person.
Unless they have had a lot of successful psychotherapy for their NPD, they do not feel guilt, shame, or self-doubt so long as their narcissistic defenses hold. This means that they do not think there is anything for them to regret, no matter how hurt you feel.
How Did Narcissists Feel About the Breakup? Both narcissistic admiration and narcissistic rivalry were related to feeling more anger right after the breakup. This is consistent with the tendency for narcissists to be especially hostile when they're rejected.
People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.
Narcissists rarely take breakups well, because breakups often involve some amount of rejection and acknowledgement of personal failure—two things a narcissist can't handle. They may lash out and try to blame you for everything that went wrong, or they may make extreme promises to change and beg for you to stay.
"But with a narcissist, you'll always feel like you're trying to entertain them. Unfortunately for a narcissist, she says, the next person will always end up being boring because time breeds familiarity, requiring the narcissist to look for something new.
It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.
Narcissists can't take rejection and they see it as a personal attraction to their character. Even after long periods of the breakup, they can't accept the fact that you're moving on. Now that you're seeing someone else, your narcissistic ex would act like a predator.
A tactic that narcissists will often use once they realize that they've lost control over you is self-victimization. When a narcissist victimizes themselves it means that they label themselves as victims and blame their problems on external factors.
While people with narcissism aren't devoid of emotions, their motivations may be self-focused. They can know they're hurting your feelings, but as long as it elevates their status, they may not care. Someone living with narcissism does cry. They can feel regret, remorse, and sadness.
They ignore you because they want to control you. One of the main reasons why a narcissist ignores you is that they want to control you. More likely, they want to regain control of you. A narcissist uses ignoring people as a way to punish them.
“A narcissist will stay with you and come back to you as long and as often as you let them,” explains Chawla. This doesn't mean that the relationship with them will change, though. You could still be exposed to vindictive and toxic relationship behaviors.
Revenge. This is another narcissistic break-up game. Narcissists will try to take revenge on their partners by hurting them in some way after a breakup, even if it's just emotional pain they're causing or making you feel guilty for leaving them.
The cerebral cortex has also been found to be less developed in narcissists and this area is responsible for memory, emotions and behaviour. Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do.
Relationships with narcissists move very quickly. Neo said some people simply do mesh really well, because they have similar interests, and also complement each other's differences. “But anybody who tries to do it too quickly early on is basically accelerating intimacy, and that is bad news,” she said.
For a person who is narcissistic, their self-esteem is often tied to your relationship with them. When they see that you have moved on and are now dating someone else, they will feel jealous and threatened.
"Narcissists are drawn to those who can boost their own self-esteem and validate their sense of importance," Wasser told Insider. "Being associated with someone who is successful or admired can make the narcissist feel more important by proxy."
You can get the narcissist to come crawling back by letting them know there's plenty more available. Play the narcissist at their own game by love-bombing them. Start sending your ex text messages and emails telling them how great they are. How much you love and miss them because they are so awesome.
At the end of a relationship, narcissists may become combative, passive-aggressive, hostile, and even more controlling. People with NPD often fail to understand other people's needs and values. They are hyper focused on their egos, but do not account for how their actions affect others.