Set aside alone time. First and foremost, schedule lots of alone time. As INFPs, our core nature is introverted, so we need time to recharge on a good day. But after a heartbreak, that alone time is going to be even more important.
Mediators' sensitivity to rejection and their greater tendency to respond with sadness speaks to the potential for immobilization after a breakup. People with this personality type are less likely to “fight back” and more likely to surrender to the situation, perhaps leaving them feeling somewhat helpless.
Because of these deep and meaningful emotions, the INFP definitely seems to struggle with breakups at first. INFPs are surprisingly capable of letting go after a breakup, they just don't do this right away.
They just have their own way of wading through them. Since the INFP is relatively reserved, they're somewhat unlikely to actually reach out to an ex — they'd prefer to privately indulge their nostalgic nature by scrolling through their ex's texts. INFPs are also idealists through and through.
INFPs experiencing grief tend to withdraw and isolate themselves initially to try to process the emotions they are going through. Over time they will usually seek support from others as well as try to support others who are grieving.
If an INFP was traumatized in childhood, they may develop a strong dependence on their therapist. This is because deep down they long for a mentor who respects them for who they are and gives them the guidance they need. At the same time, INFPs tend to be sensitive to interference.
Shutting down when we're hurt
Yet because INFPs are mediators, we have a hard time being confrontational. We value harmonious relationships more than our own feelings, so if we are hurt, instead of bringing it up, we may shut down. We retreat to work it out internally.
INFPs are very empathetic.
When your INFP friend disappears without warning, it may be because they feel overwhelmed by the problem you presented them with. Or they may have reached their stimulation capacity and needed some alone time to recharge their emotional batteries before dealing with others again.
Dating an INFP will require you to be mindful of the fact that this personality type thinks with their emotions and may place feelings before logic. While the INFP in relationships tends to be emotional, they may have a difficult time with self-reflection, meaning they do not always know why they feel a certain way.
INFPs tend to be on the quiet side, but there's usually a whimsical warmth that shows up anyway. But when they are stressed and overwhelmed, they appear more distant, detached, and stoic. Usually they are absorbed in thoughts, trying to sort out how to handle what's plaguing them.
Because Fi is introverted in nature, it is guarded against the outside world and INFPs will only show their feelings to those they feel they can trust implicitly. This is why when you get to know the INFP in a deeper, more intimate way, they may reveal a side of themselves you didn't know existed.
They love deeply and tend to be extremely selfless. They mostly keep their emotions to themselves. If you make an INFP angry enough for them to express it in a direct manner, all hell breaks loose. This means that an INFP has lost all faith in you as a human being (at least for a moment).
INFPs are often very selective about who they share their innermost feelings with, so it may take them a long time to let a potential partner in. Once they're in a relationship they are empathetic, dedicated, and loyal.
Their emotional intensity often means that when INFPs get low, they sink very deep. They can do this because they believe that ultimately there is a path out. They can step down with a friend going through a hard time because they believe that someday both of them will return to the surface.
INFPs are most compatible with the other Intuitive-Feeling types—ENFJ, ENFP, and INFJ—as well as ESFJs.
At their best, INFPs bring emotional healing to others and inspire incredible change in the world. No, they won't possibly return to Exes . If I initiated the breakup, then no, I never desired to go back to the ex. However, I have gone back to people who initiated the breakup—I even married one.
INFPs and ISFPs feel insecure when they are asked to delegate, give or receive criticism, or do something that is objectively logical but doesn't seem right on a conscience-level.
INFP: Decisiveness
Decisiveness is a turn-on for INFPs. Making decisions isn't an INFP's strength. Sometimes it's because they usually spend a lot of time analyzing different options and exploring all the possibilities in order to come up with a conclusion that would make sense for everyone involved.
Much of the time, an INFP may seem completely happy with their own company, almost to the point of appearing antisocial. But INFPs, though definitely Introverts, do have a greater-than-average need for meaningful human connection.
INFP: People-pleasing
The biggest turn-off for INFPs is people-pleasing. INFPs are independent and individualistic in their beliefs and values. They want people to be authentic and true to themselves, even if they risk offending others.
Often times INFPs over infatuate themselves with a person with fantasies, but when the relationship goes on long enough for those fantasies can erode, the INFP loses interest.
How do you know when an INFP is completely fed up with you? That's easy. They go cold - ice cold. You don't hear from them and when you interact there's a palpable distance because they have closed off their inner selves to you.
They are known for being empathic and will mirror others' emotions and feelings. The intensity of their own emotions can sometimes become overwhelming for them, and so they may cry a lot more frequently. This is a sign that an INFP needs some time alone to rest and recharge so that they can put themselves first.