Is it normal to lose the spark in your relationship? Yes, it's common for long-term couples to start wondering how to keep a relationship alive. It isn't the loss of the spark in a relationship that is the problem – the problem arises when couples lack the commitment to rekindle the romance.
INSIDER spoke to a relationship expert about the signs that can help you know when to break things off. If you're not feeling a spark, your loved ones hate them or you're emotionally cheating, it's probably time to end it.
What does it mean when the spark is gone? Sometimes a couple can lose its spark as a relationship. This could be due to several reasons: a dissipated sex life, you're no longer talking, you're not spending enough time together, and you don't make an effort to go out with friends or do anything fun anymore.
"No spark means she may have found you interesting, and nice, and kind, and funny, but not attractive.
The same research found that it's possible to get the spark back – eight in ten of those surveyed said they were able to recover their relationship.
Other signs your relationship has had its "best days" include no longer cuddling at night, not going out on "dates" and letting yourself go physically. Nearly four in 10 believe the spark can begin to fade simply because both parties start to take each other for granted.
Some chalk it up to evolved differences, a slow growing apart, or sheer familiarity. The wave of “deadness” that can submerge a relationship after the first thrilling months or years have caused many couples to lose hope, and even look elsewhere for the excitement of newfound intimacy.
The lack of adequate communication can lead to loss of attraction. Failure to share activities – As your relationship lasts, you tend to fall into a routine and stop sharing new adventures with your partner. This lack of fresh activities can lead to you starting to lose attraction to your significant other.
Loss of spark is caused by anything that prevents coil voltage from jumping the electrode gap at the end of the spark plug. This includes worn, fouled or damaged spark plugs, bad plug wires or a cracked distributor cap.
Everything is going right, and fun is happening over 90 percent of the time.” For most people, the honeymoon phase lasts between six months and two years, but there is no hard and fast rule for how long you should be in this phase.
The most common reasons people break up usually involve a lack of emotional intimacy, sexual incompatibility, differences in life goals, and poor communication and conflict resolution skills. There are no wrong or good reasons to break up. However, some things in a relationship are just outrightly unacceptable.
Common Signs You May Be Feeling Unhappy In Your Relationship
You look for excuses not to see your partner. You feel the urge to be with someone else. You think you would be more comfortable living a different life. You are not attracted to your partner anymore.
Yes, it's true—people can grow on you.
Attraction can and does grow over time, so just because you don't feel an initial spark with someone now, doesn't mean you won't in the future.
Three dates is a good rule of thumb.
This isn't a hard and fast rule, but let's say you spend two to three hours together on each date, with some emailing, texting, or phone time in between. That's a pretty fair amount of time together. If you're not feeling any sense of chemistry or attachment, it's OK to give up.
A lack of chemistry in a relationship is predicated on a lack of connection, or the desire to connect. You can try to bring back lost chemistry through emotionally and physically connective activities, such as: A date night with activities you both enjoy.
There's No Emotional Connection
One of the key signs your relationship is ending is that you are no longer vulnerable and open with your partner. A cornerstone of happy, healthy relationships is that both partners feel comfortable being truly open to sharing thoughts and opinions with one another.
Hormonal changes such as thyroid dysfunction, low testosterone or menopause can also contribute to decreased drive and arousal. Psychological problems such as depression, anxiety, stress, concern with body image or a history of abuse can contribute to decreased arousal.
However, generally, it is possible to revive the feelings of attraction in a relationship but it requires a commitment from both partners and honesty to examine, and work on the underlying issues. If your attraction has dissipated over time, then you need to have an honest and open conversation with your partner.