Narcissists are self-obsessed and control others for their personal gain; they're notorious for using a few specific tactics for getting and maintaining this control. First, narcissists guarantee success by targeting codependents: They also try to make others feel special using compliments and flattery.
Narcissists are so hungry for praise that they assume others are as well. They may tell you that you are special, that only you understand them, or that only you know how to take care of them. In truth, narcissistic flattery is not based on who you really are. Narcissists rarely see who others are.
However, once in a while, just once in a while, the gaslighter/narcissist will give you something that appears like a compliment. However, it is anything but. Gaslighters/narcissists can never fully compliment someone unless there is an insult tied to it.
If you've ever wondered why you're attracted to a narcissist, the answer is ridiculously simple. Narcissists engage in behaviors that are designed to attract us! They know how to draw in others and before we have time to take a breath and recognize the narcissist for what she is, we might already be under her spell.
Narcissists are attracted to certain types of people. Rather than weak, vulnerable people, they tend to go for the strong-willed and talented. They are also attracted to people who reflect well on themselves.
When narcissists fall in love, they become obsessed with being adored and admired by their partners. They may shower them with compliments and gifts or attempt to manipulate them through grand gestures of affection.
Narcissists are attracted to dynamic and appealing partners, individuals who appear as if they have high self-esteem but who also have a "pocket" or two of low self-esteem.
Primarily, narcissists are attractive because they think of themselves as the top prize, and that factors into to how other people see them. They believe in their own value (on the surface, at least), so their charisma and confidence often makes them the life of a party.
Previous research has indicated that individuals high in narcissism tend to particularly value their attributes in domains such as physical attractiveness (Bleske-Rechek et al., 2008; Gabriel et al., 1994), intelligence (e.g., Gabriel et al., 1994), and leader-like status Judge et al., 2006), that is, regarding agentic ...
Empathetic – Narcissists lack any empathy, so they gravitate towards people who are caring and put other people before themselves. When a target is abused by a narcissist, they are manipulated into taking the narcissist's side and believing that they are responsible for their partner's hurtful words and actions.
The most common narcissistic strategy is to pretend to be better than you actually are in order to impress, deceive, and manipulate others.
They love attention
Narcissists love attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. They are often extremely flirty. Relationships involving a narcissist will usually come along with frequent fights about jealousy, flirtation, or cheating.
Therefore, somatic narcissists are obsessed with their physical appearance and weight, often securing self-worth from their body image. On the other hand, cerebral narcissists gain their sense of value from their intellect.
Indeed, we knew from prior work that narcissists fantasize about having power over others, and that their sense of self-worth fluctuates based on others' respect and admiration. To understand what narcissists want, it is critical to examine what makes them feel good and bad.
First, narcissists guarantee success by targeting codependents: They also try to make others feel special using compliments and flattery. They then go on to play with difficult emotions like shock, awe, and guilt to maintain control over their victim.
In some cases, people who fish for compliments have an actual personality disorder—like narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD). People with those conditions typically find it hard to control their impulses and may show attention-seeking tendencies.
Narcissists do enjoy looking at themselves in the mirror. They may spend more time grooming themselves to bolster their grandiose self-images. In this way, narcissists may be more prone to self-objectify—and identify with and to base their self-worth on their external appearance, instead of their character.
But this was not the case for narcissists—they were significantly more satisfied with partners who met their ideals for attractiveness, status, and vitality. This shows that not only do narcissists value “trophy” traits in a partner, but they are happier with their relationships when they obtain those traits.
Narcissism is characterized in part by an acute concern for one's appearance.
Grandiose and Vulnerable Narcissists
They found grandiose narcissism to be linked with taking and posting a greater number of selfies (especially ones with only themselves in the photo), feeling good while taking selfies, and being motivated by self-presentation.
Someone who is highly empathic might be drawn to narcissists, and vice versa, as narcissists rely on being the sole focus of their partner's attention.
Put Your Needs First. Narcissists make others feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you're not constantly praising them or accepting their criticisms that make them feel superior, they won't be satisfied.
Attention-seeking behavior—positive or negative—is essentially narcissistic supply. Wanting attention, accolades, and validation are not inherently narcissistic. We all need to feel heard and accepted, but narcissists crave this attention constantly.
People with type A personalities attract narcissists, but a relationship between the two is a recipe for disaster. Narcissists know exactly who to target. Often they go after people with high levels of empathy.