More often than not, when we're really attracted to someone, but they don't like us nearly as much in return, it's because we are in that space of insecurity, neediness and unworthiness. We feel like we're not good enough and we're nervous about being rejected.
“We know that we get a big hit of dopamine (our pleasure and reward hormone) and also a big hit cortisol (our stress hormone),” she explains. “So we're kind of wired to act on our attractions. We want to engage with this person, whether that's to reproduce or find a mate or just be connected...
Scientifically, having a crush and falling for someone releases feel-good hormones like dopamine and adrenaline. Part of the chase is a chase for those brain chemicals, to feel those euphoric feelings again.
The lack of adequate communication can lead to loss of attraction. Failure to share activities – As your relationship lasts, you tend to fall into a routine and stop sharing new adventures with your partner. This lack of fresh activities can lead to you starting to lose attraction to your significant other.
Why am I attracted to someone who is not good for me?
“What shapes who we choose as a romantic partner is our relationships with our primary caretakers as kids,” Los Angeles-based psychologist Sarah Schewitz tells Talkspace. “We're unconsciously searching for somebody who has a conglomeration of negative and positive traits of the caretakers from our childhood.”
Distance yourself from your feelings—imagine they are being felt by someone else, and then be objective about them. Every emotion is, in essence, equal to every other. Don't try to promote one feeling over the other—they are both there for a reason. Practice pure rational thinking.
Immediately having very intense sexual feelings for someone often comes from a primitive — and dysfunctional — set of feelings and beliefs. People who feel extreme sexual attraction often have a history of psychological trauma, neglect, or addictive tendencies.
In conclusion, there are various reasons why a woman may lose interest in a man. These can include a lack of emotional connection, communication breakdown, the man stopping efforts, societal pressures, life goals/values not aligning, and more.
So why do some of us do this? Obsessive crushes aren't just frustrating - they could be a type of addiction, according to researchers. Dr Gery Karantzas, an Associate Professor at Deakin University studying love and relationships, said some of us get an emotional "reward" from fantasising about a crush.
