Clinginess is a natural reaction for children experiencing separation anxiety, or fear of being separated from a person they trust. Separation anxiety tends to be strongest from ages 9 to 18 months and usually improves by the time a child is 3. These stages correspond to phases of young child development.
It's common for children to develop favorites around age 2, and they may cycle from one parent to another, or prefer different parents for different activities, up through age 5. Showing a preference is one way children attempt to control their world, which might feel especially out of control right now.
Your child is clingy because they're seeking limits.
Children often will “misbehave” or become clingy because they're seeking some input from you. They may want to know where they can go or where they can't go. They're testing some boundaries, which is normal.
Why do children get clingy? A child can show clinginess due to a fear of being away from their parents (separation anxiety) or because of stranger anxiety, where the fear is more about being around people the child doesn't know.
Parents tend to think about separation anxiety in babies and toddlers, but older kids can grapple with it too. In fact, grade-schoolers and teenagers can have separation anxiety disorder, which is an extreme fear of being without a parent or caregiver that is out of proportion to the danger it actually poses.
A lot of babies and toddlers go through a clingy stage. It mostly happens when they are between 10 and 18 months but it can start as early as six months old.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
To recap, the following patterns of the caregiver tend to create insecure attachment: Inconsistent and unpredictable in how they respond to their child's needs. More aware of their own needs than those of their children's because they likely didn't receive the affection that they needed as a child.
'Acting out' emotionally
Angry outbursts, physical aggression and tantrums can all be signs of an attachment disorder, as can excessive crying. Helen commented: “Children with an attachment disorder may have learnt that they won't get their needs met unless they make themselves the centre of attention.
Sometimes, or a lot of the time, they want that same close, warm, safe feeling they had when they were in the womb. Being held is as close as they can get to the comfort they're familiar with. Additionally, research shows that physical touch is calming for babies and facilitates the parent-child bond.
There are many reasons kids seek attention: they're bored, tired, hungry, or in need of quality time with their parents. But the reasons your child acts this way aren't as important as learning how to respond when they do. Keep in mind that such attention-seeking behavior is normal.
The "clingy toddler phase" is a normal phase of development that most babies go through. It typically begins around 8 months of age and lasts until the baby is around 14 months old, if not longer.
A lot of kids become clingy when they're in a new situation or interacting with people they don't know. This is perfectly normal and appropriate, but it's important for kids to gradually find their independence separately from their parents.
What Is Being Clingy? First, it's important to define clinginess. It's not just immaturity, though a person's emotional intelligence and maturity level definitely factor into how clingy they are. Clinginess is also not the same thing as spending a lot of time around your partner or wanting to see them all the time.
“Often, it can be due to feelings of insecurity, self-doubt or anxiety about the future,” she said. “A lack of confidence in relationships can also contribute to clinginess.
Psychologically, clinginess is about wanting to feel safe by reducing the emotional and physical distance between another person. It could be because someone is jealous, controlling, overprotective, or dependent.
While clingy tendencies may have been “ok” in your previous relationship, being overly needy is generally considered a toxic dating habit.
Experts believe SAD is caused by both biological and environmental factors. A child may inherit a tendency to be anxious. An imbalance of 2 chemicals in the brain (norepinephrine and serotonin) most likely plays a part. A child can also learn anxiety and fear from family members and others.
Anxiety Disorders and ADHD
The pediatric anxiety disorder triad — which includes generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety disorder, and separation anxiety disorder — is particularly common among children with ADHD.