You could also go for a walk, take a warm shower or listen to calming music. If your child is doing something that makes you angry, count to 10 before you react. Try to find positive rather than negative words. Let your child know it is their behaviour you don't like, not them.
Too often, our tantrums are born out of feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Therefore, it's important not to put yourself in a position of feeling chronically overwhelmed by getting upset over every little annoying thing your child does. One way to combat this is to think hard about what is most important.
To be sure, our children can make us feel inadequate as parents. But they can only seem to make us angry—and want to punish them—when we confuse feelings of inadequacy with failure. Most of our anger at our children manifests when we punish them for reminding us that we sometimes feel like failures as parents.
Maternal burnout is a chronic state characterized by physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion and occurs when ongoing stress diminishes a person's energetic resources. Parental burnout has been categorized by four dimensions: A persistent, disruptive, and overwhelming exhaustion as a parent.
'Out of character' outbursts and snapping
In general, mom rage isn't typically a one-off event, either. Instead, it's a persistent or chronic feeling that can linger under the surface, making you feel on edge or prone to snapping, yelling, or screaming at the slightest provocation.
Emotionally absent or cold mothers can be unresponsive to their children's needs. They may act distracted and uninterested during interactions, or they could actively reject any attempts of the child to get close. They may continue acting this way with adult children.
The parents even called the age of 8 the "hateful eights," which is a little harsh, but the parents noted that tantrums seem to have really intensified around the age of 8.
Yes, yelling can be used as a weapon, and a dangerous one at that. Research shows that verbal abuse can, in extreme situations, be as psychologically damaging as physical abuse. But yelling can also be used as a tool, one that lets parents release a little steam and, sometimes, gets kids to listen.
Talk to your doctor if: You often feel angry or out of control when you respond to tantrums. You keep giving in to try to avoid your child acting out. The tantrums cause a lot of bad feelings between you and your child or you and your partner.
Just as your four-year-old will not remember that wonderful visit you had at Grandma's house, they also will not remember the time you were so frustrated, stressed, or sleep deprived that you screamed at them.
Stop, drop and breathe.
Drop everything else you're doing, take a deep breath and count to 10. It also helps to repeat a mantra like “Everything will be ok” or “He's acting like a child because he's a child.” Keep breathing slowly until you feel some calm flow through you.
Described as “an exhaustion syndrome,” parental burnout has three distinct aspects: An overwhelming exhaustion related to parenting and your role as a parent. Feeling emotionally distanced from your children. A sense of ineffectiveness as a parent; feeling unsure of your ability to parent well.
Emotionally unavailable parents are physically present but emotionally detached. They keep an emotional distance from their children, interacting with them only when necessary, and they remain uninvolved in their lives.
There is increasing evidence from the fields of development psychology, neurobiology and animal epigenetic studies that neglect, parental inconsistency and a lack of love can lead to long-term mental health problems as well as to reduced overall potential and happiness.
Be kind to yourself. Take deep breaths, shake out your hands, splash water on your face or drink a glass of water, let your family know that you are triggered and need to take a break (walk away). By focussing on yourself and your reaction, and not taking it out on your child, you are growing new neural pathways.
Maternal anger is one symptom of postpartum depression and anxiety. One in 9 women experience some form of postpartum depression or anxiety, but anger may not be the first symptom we think of—we're far more likely to imagine PPDA as persistent feelings of sadness or numbness.
The obvious answer is frustration, often sleep deprivation, and the general stress of life. There's also the sometimes overwhelming sense of responsibility – the to-do list divided among the needs of children, spouse, work. Maybe you just missed the bus, or the sitter didn't show and you're on a work deadline.