They will often deploy a variety of narcissistic relationship patterns such as manipulation, charismatic, and exploitational tactics in order to ensure that their own needs and wants are met. As a spouse, you may be the subject of their manipulation and abuse, while your partner treats everyone else positively.
Narcissists' need for admiration and lack of empathy often leads to manipulative behavior in intimate relationships. This can include gaslighting, subtle threats, emotional abuse, blackmail, and constant criticism, leaving their partners feeling unloved and devalued.
Your narcissistic spouse may not be able to support you or show genuine emotion. Any love or affection they show is often given only for their own benefit. It's possible that your spouse made you feel loved early in the relationship. They may even have made you feel like you were the most important person in the world.
Romantic love can evolve into love, but narcissists aren't motivated to really know and understand others. They lose interest as the expectation of intimacy increases or when they've won at their game. Even if they marry, they're unlikely to support their spouse's needs and wants if it's inconvenient.
The narcissist views their spouse as an extension of themselves. If the narcissist wants to present themselves to the world in a certain way, they will pick a spouse who can help them with that image.
Set clear boundaries
Some people with NPD may feel entitled to intrude on every part of your life. In their eyes, your main purpose in life may be to serve their needs. They might not fully realize you have your own needs. Setting boundaries can be incredibly beneficial for managing a healthy relationship.
“To what extent do you agree with this statement: 'I am a narcissist.'”
Feeling respected is important in relationships. New research examines the link between narcissism and respecting one's partner. Narcissists who inflate their own self-view by enjoying others' failures tend not to give their partners enough respect.
What Is the Narcissistic Abuse Cycle? Narcissistic abuse follows a specific cycle of idealization, devaluation, and rejection. Narcissists tend to deflect all of their feelings onto others because of the pain they feel about their own emotions.
Narcissists tend to be incapable of something called "object constancy," which means they struggle to have positive feelings at the same time as negative ones. Once they are fired up for a fight, they can be incredibly cruel, because all they can comprehend in the moment are feelings of resentment and anger.
Narcissistic parents are often emotionally abusive to their children, holding them to impossible and constantly changing expectations. Those with narcissistic personality disorder are highly sensitive and defensive. They tend to lack self-awareness and empathy for other people, including their own children.
If you suspect your narcissistic partner is cheating, explore your emotions and response options before confronting them. Keep in mind that they may employ tactics like gaslighting, denial, defensiveness, or even become abusive, so this encounter may not go well if you're hoping to work things out.
Apologize. If you've heard someone say, “Narcissists never apologize,” they're not exactly right. While many traits of narcissism like entitlement, elitism, and arrogance make it unlikely someone with narcissistic traits will go the apology route, apologies are sometimes used with ulterior motives.
Final Thoughts on the Red Flags of a Narcissist
Narcissistic individuals often exhibit traits such as a lack of empathy, manipulative behavior, and an inflated sense of self-importance. It's essential to understand that dealing with a narcissist can be draining and challenging.
On the other extreme, persons with vulnerable narcissism may present with salient features of dysthymia, depression, and anhedonia. However, the grandiosity and need for admiration would be prominent despite the affective symptoms, which would differentiate it from a major depressive disorder.
Attention-seeking: A narcissist demands excessive attention. They need constant validation and praise from others, and often fish for compliments. Sense of entitlement: Narcissists believe they can do whatever they want, and feel like they deserve special treatment. They will take advantage of others for personal gain.
But another side of their degrading treatment of their spouses is that narcissists love to feel superior. Their grandiose sense of self-importance, specialness, and uniqueness is to blame for their willingness to do anything to prove their superiority over others.