No, cheating doesn't mean your love wasn't real. People fall in and out of love all the time. Even if something went wrong or someone made a mistake, you could theoretically say that love existed before the infidelity, and after the infidelity, even if it wasn't there in the moment.
And yet, the real answer to this significant question is this: It is absolutely possible that your partner does love you, did love you before, and will continue to love you in the future. Infidelity does not mean that the love is gone or never existed. The reality is that you can love someone and still cheat on them.
There are many potential reasons why a person may cheat. There are eight key reasons and motivations for affairs, including low self-esteem, anger, low commitment, lack of love, neglect, sexual desire, need for variety, and circumstances.
People who cheat are likely impulsive and destructive at decision making. Instead of thinking about you and what happens to the relationship after cheating, they go based on what they want right now. Impulsiveness can be seen in other areas of the relationship, too. So keep an eye out.
You can still love someone, but decide to love yourself more. Sometimes we need to make decisions for the sake of our own well-being, despite our feelings for someone. Relationships can certainly recover from cheating, but only in the right context. Otherwise, you're setting yourself up for heartache again.
Relationships can survive infidelity if both individuals are willing to do the work of processing their emotions and thoughts with the goal of healing from the infidelity together. Moving past infidelity takes time and patience, but healing can result in greater growth and resilience for the couple.
How Many Couples Stay Together After an Affair? In one study, researchers found that with instances of secret infidelity, only about 20% of couples were still married after 5 years. However, for couples who revealed infidelity, that percentage jumped to 57%.
Between one in four to five Americans have an affair in their lifetime. Among men, 68% feel guilty after having an affair. Even if they haven't confessed the affair, most cheating husbands will feel guilty and express that guilt in their behavior.
Johns Hopkins University. "Married people who cheat don't often regret it: Infidelity survey reveals little remorse, high rates of satisfaction." ScienceDaily. ScienceDaily, 22 May 2023.
“Contrary to popular belief, it is possible to trust someone again after they have cheated on you,” says Dr. Elizabeth Fedrick, a licensed psychotherapist. “Not all relationships can repair after infidelity, but there are many that do.”
Mental health issues such as depression and anxiety have been linked to infidelity. A person may also experience relationship anxiety, which often results in a person feeling more insecure about themselves. It can also induce doubt towards one's partner, and excessive worry that one will be cheated on again.
Durvasula said cheating is "not the norm, but not uncommon," with some estimates as high as 35 to 40 percent among those in long term but non-marital relationships and perhaps closer to 15 to 20 percent among marital relationships.
They experience overwhelming guilt, their extended relationships suffer, and they often fear the potential karmic effects of adultery. Cheaters often realize the effect of cheating in relationships once the damage is done. Counseling can be helpful for people who have a pattern of being unfaithful to their partners.
So it's possible to feel deep attachment to a long-term partner at the same time you feel intense romantic love toward someone else and even also feel sexual attraction toward another person, Fisher said. "In short, we're capable of loving more than one person at a time," Fisher said.
Being cheated on sucks. It's as simple as that – but the feelings that come with it are hardly ever simple. You feel betrayed, angry, embarrassed and completely heartbroken. It can make you question everything about yourself, your relationship and your life.
Cheating rarely ends well. Only 5% to 7% of affairs result in a marriage—and roughly 75% of the unions that started as affairs end as divorces.
In this new study, 45 percent of individuals who reported cheating on their partner in the first relationship reported also doing so in the second. Among those who had not cheated in the first, far fewer (18 percent) cheated in the second.
While adultery is no longer a deal breaker in many marriages, infidelity is one of the top cited reasons couples decide to get divorced. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), infidelity in the United States accounted for 20-40 percent of divorces.
Well, cheaters get their karma through the same way they hurt their partners. A cheater may either get cheated on by their partner whom they had cheated on or the partner in their next relationship. Despite doing it to others, cheaters feel the pain of their actions when someone else does it to them.
Intense emotions of anger, hurt, shame, grief, and frustration: There are ambivalent fears of anger, guilt, self-doubts, etc., that can overwhelm the hurt partner.
Some will behave very normally with their partners whereas, some men feel deep remorse and regret for cheating on their partner. “So, the main thing to keep in mind here is that every cheater is different. Their thoughts and feelings will be all over the place.
Furthermore, the research found that it is highly likely for them to cheat again. Yet, a cheater's mind is fraught with feelings of guilt, fear of getting caught, and the uncertainty of the future of both relationships.
Does the pain of infidelity ever go away? Although cheating can have a lasting effect on your mental health, it's possible to heal after infidelity, says Babita Spinelli, a psychotherapist licensed in New York, New Jersey, and Florida. Spinelli offers couples coaching for partners recovering after infidelity.
Yet, most affairs usually end one of two ways: with divorce or a stronger current relationship.