If the family is having a funeral reception, or wake, mournersA mourner is someone who is attending a funeral or who is otherwise recognized as in a period of grief and mourning prescribed either by religious law or by popular custom.https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Mourner
If you didn't know the deceased personally
To support them, you can go to the wake but not the funeral. Attending the wake helps express your condolences. And is appropriate for this kind of relationship. Your presence will be appreciated.
Wakes and viewings are usually open to all guests, though if the family has not invited you or specified that the event is family-only, you should respect their wishes and not attend. If the body will be present and on view, you may want to prepare yourself emotionally.
It's not mandatory to view the body, but you can stop and say a silent prayer if you wish. After passing the casket, approach the family and introduce yourself if necessary. Say a few kind words about the deceased, shake their hands, give them hugs, offer a warm smile – any small gesture will be appropriate.
Do you have to have a wake after a funeral? You do not need to have a wake after a funeral, if you do not want to. Some choose not to have a wake at all and keep the funeral service for immediate family and close friends only. You also may choose to hold a wake before a funeral, it's completely up to you.
It is respectful to attend both, but not compulsory. If you don't feel comfortable attending the wake, or you have a prior commitment you can't avoid, it's polite to let the grieving family know in advance – a phone call or message is usually appropriate.
Wakes usually last between two to six hours, but this can vary. This depends on the location and who attends. If the wake is held at someone's house or a paid venue you may want to be mindful of leaving on time. Checking the invitation or event details is a good way of seeing if someone has mentioned this.
But during the wake of their beloved, superstitions say that one must refrain from sweeping the floor. Neither should you try and take a shower at the place where the deceased is. Doing so may send its spirit away from the place, preventing it from “safely passing” to life after death.
How Much Should You Give? The traditional gift is the amount you would have spent on flowers for the service, generally between $50 and $100.
Flowers, sympathy cards, custom keepsakes, and donations are all appropriate gifts to bring to a funeral. While a gift is certainly not required, it can be a thoughtful way to communicate your love for those grieving. Flower and plant arrangements can often be sent to the funeral home prior to the service.
A wake is a formal occasion, and your attire should reflect that. Any sort of business clothes such as a shirt and tie, a dress, nice pants and a top in dark colors would be suitable and appropriate. Avoid bright colors and clothing that is revealing or flamboyant.
Wakes are generally more casual and interactive than funeral services, which are more structured around certain rituals. Many families will have both a wake and a funeral, with the wake taking place the day before the funeral service or afterward at the families' home.
It's common for people to give money at birthdays, weddings, but at funerals giving money isn't always a respectful gift. However, the protocols can sometimes be altered and people may still offer money if that's how they feel, or the grieving family needs the help.
A wake is a social gathering associated with death, held before or after a funeral. Traditionally, a wake involves family and friends keeping watch over the body of the dead person, usually in the home of the deceased. Some wakes are held at a funeral home or another convenient location.
How do you properly give money to a grieving family member? Tucking cash or a check inside a sympathy card is a great way to offer support. Include a check if you mail the card. You may only want to include cash if you present the card to the family at the visitation or funeral.
Funeral costs…
These may include fees for the funeral director, church service, venue hire, flowers, notices and the wake.
Pay respects first
If you are offering an incense, light one incense stick and offer it into the censer. Following which, make three respectful bows. If you do not use incense, maintain a moment of silence and send your deepest well wishes to the deceased.
When thinking about what to wear to a wake, women have to remember that this is a somber occasion, it is best to choose conservative colors and styles. You don't have to wear black, but it is acceptable if you decide to wear all black. Other colors include navy blue, gray, blush colors, and neutrals such as beige.
Choosing whether to attend is at the discretion of each individual, family member. Whatever you choose, know that it isn't disrespectful to not go to a funeral for personal reasons.
Is it bad to cry at a funeral? Everyone shows their emotions differently and it can be healthy to cry at a funeral – don't feel embarrassed. Though, if you become a bit overwhelmed and find yourself crying uncontrollably, it's a good idea to excuse yourself until you have regained control.
Traditionally, music didn't really feature at funeral wakes, but now more people are choosing to have singers, live bands or DJs at the funeral reception. Why not create a playlist of your loved ones favourite party anthems, or ask guests to suggest songs that they liked?
Avoid dressing in casual clothing, such as athletic wear, tank tops, or shorts. Skip the flip-flops, tennis shoes, sneakers, or boat shoes. Remove the neon necktie, purse, or accessory. Shy away from wearing jeans, even black ones, because they are considered too casual for a funeral.
To support them, you can go to the visitation, but not the funeral. What really matters is you show up when it means the most. You may not know how important it is to have the people you care about around when you are grieving. Showing support during a visitation, funeral, or both is vital.
A wake is a Catholic tradition, while people of any faith can do viewing. A funeral wake is typically led by clergy or a priest, whereas a viewing will not. Another difference is that viewing is an informal event, while a funeral wake might be either an informal or formal event.